Smokey Eyes
by superzedu
Summary: "You're very interesting, Vega. I don't like it" Jade said and in that moment I wondered whether the fire dwelling in her eyes was one of the good or the bad kind, but either way, I needed to know. - Jori;Jade/Tori
1. Ch 1: Smokey Eyes

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><strong>Smokey Eyes<br>**=====

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>You would think Jade had gotten over her hatred by now. But one can never be too wrong.<p>

There she was once again. Black and white and purple and with emerald eyes radiating murder. Slowly they diverted upon me, sending a shiver down my spine as she passed by me with that perfect look of disgust, like I've committed some incredible sin and deserve to be punished for it the fiery depths of Hell. By Satan himself. I swallowed hard. As I followed her figure walking away I wondered where it all went wrong. It's not that I'd want to be best friends or at least frenemies with Jade, but I can't stand the hostility anymore. I've endured nearly a year of these venomous glances and uptight comments when all I want is for us to come to terms and just accept each other. We're part of a group here, whether she likes it or not. Besides, she can't be messing around with the carefully set up structure of our relationships forever. Right?

I sighed and closed my locker with a slam. Who was I to worry about this trivial thing? I shouldn't even care. Jade can do whatever she wants, I won't even care anymore. That only ever seems to make things worse, even though she seems to be nice for about half a day before shit hits the fan again.

"Hey there, Tori." I turned around to the source of the familiar voice and found Beck standing there, a content smile on his face and his push-back hair messy. His blouse hung loosely around his shoulders and I was surprised not to see Jade next to him, subtly clinging onto one of his arms, like she was nearly every morning. It felt somehow weirdly empty and my eyebrows hunched together over my eyes. "Where's Jade?" I asked almost involuntarily.

"I just saw her going outside, said she needed to get something. I don't know what though, class starts in two minutes." he shrugged and wiped the brown locks out of his eyes. Somehow his eyes always seemed so tired yet so friendly. "But let's go, she'll come right after us." he added, and commenced to go to class.

I followed him, chatting about random things and the weekend, parents and music. We got into Sikowitz's class, greeting Cat, Andre and Robbie and the others, telling our stories. It struck me how much Jade's presence lacked. No matter how evil or snarky her comments could be, it was something I enjoyed too, if it wasn't aimed at me. I sighed inaudibly as I look at her empty seat in the room. She's interesting. Jade's like an immeasurably deep lake, unknown for what hides beneath the surface. I just wish she was to share it with me. She's so different from me that I'd like to know how she works, so to say. I'd like to know her mindset and quirks and ideas of friendship and life. Know _her_. It's too bad she keeps pushing me away.

Throughout my train of thoughts I also noticed that Sikowitz was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't the type to run late, he never did. By the time the bell had rung we were anticipating his approach. But the minutes passed and he stayed away. So did Jade. I felt a distant twang of conspiracy, but then a loud yell filled the class, scaring the living daylight out of me.

"Helloooooo sunshines!"

I spin around on my chair, to the place the roar came from and saw Sikowitz standing in the middle of the little stage, coconut in his hand and his hair (or what was left of it) standing upward. He grinned deviously, almost smirking, and then calmly took a sip of his coconut milk, letting his eyes scan every startled face.

"What I want to do today," he began, slowly descending the little staircase, "is tackle this thing called surprise. And I want to begin by asking you where our lovely Jade is."

"She said she needed to get something just before class started." Beck answered, seemingly much to Sikowitz's dismay. If one thing, he didn't like students being late, especially not Jade, who was tardy quite regularly. He just didn't have the guts to punish her for it. I know his fear all too well. Poor man.

A loud sigh escaped his lips. "Well, we all know she won't come here by herself, so someone has to go look for her." Beck complied and already started to get out of his chair, looking slightly annoyed before Sikowitz turned around to me. "Tori! Move your feet and get that girl." he added with a wink, pointing his stubby finger at me. I shot Beck a perplexed glance that he returned, slowly sagging back into his seat. It felt as if the whole class was surprised, sending out the girl Jade hated most to get her. Sikowitz quite succeeded in his lesson, then.

"Me? Does it really have to be me?" I protested, but in vain. Sikowitz scooted forward, nearly pushed me out of the room and slammed the door shut in front of my face. I stood there for a moment, my eyebrows raised in thought. Or Sikowitz was planning something, or he really is a little crazy in the head. It would both come down to the same thing, really, so I decided I'd get on and over with it. I wandered through the hallway, looking left and right, looking for that one of a kind death-stare as I made my way outside. It seemed as though she had vanished. I had walked around the building at least three times, but I didn't spot her yet. I had no idea how long I had been looking for her, idly wondering if Sikowitz would be angry if I returned empty-handed, but then I finally saw her, leaning against one of the vending machines.

Her back was turned to me, black hair covering the most part of it. It looked like she was hiding something from sight, and I was suddenly curious. "Jade?"

Her form seemed to grow rigid at the sound of my voice but then she loosened up and turned around with a smirk plastered on her face, hips cocked and cigarette rebelliously between her fingers. One hand rested on her checkered skirt. She put the cigarette to her lips and gingerly took a drag. She then exhaled the smoke. Her eyes glinted mysteriously, challenging.

"You... smoke? Seriously? That's kinda illegal, you know." I started, raising my eyebrows. I know Jade likes to be the rebel, the kid that never listens and does whatever she wants, but smoking? I did not expect that, figuring she didn't want to be kicked out of school or scolded for it at home. Her damn career is at stake and she's taking this so lightly it's almost scary how she not cares. I'm just hoping she's pretending this all. That all her animosity has been just a play, something to keep my attention on her so that she wouldn't go by unnoticed or uncared for. Maybe that's what's lying beneath her white porcelain skin. All insecurity and secrets, unknown but to Beck.

She simply threw her head in her neck, her black hair rippling down her shoulders and a chuckle exiting her throat. "Yeah, and?"

I hesitated, biting my lower lip. Jade is not the kind of person you'd want to get in a serious arguement with, but neither am I if I'm determined. "Don't you think you shouldn't? Regarding not only the obvious health issues."

"A few cigarettes won't kill me."

"No, nothing will ever kill you, right? Since you're all stone-cold and rock-solid." I rolled my eyes at her, crossing my arms in front of my chest in some feeble form of defense. I could almost feel her frustration, her spiteful feelings boiling inside of her, like a volcano ready to burst. She was rumbling, quivering. She was the thunder in a raincloud. It made me be on the verge of taking my words back because I didn't want her somewhat peaceful mood to burst because I was being annoying, but I didn't. The sorries were already balancing on the tip of my tongue but I bit them back and swallowed them down.

"Hey, you'd better watch your mouth." the black-haired girl answered, her voice trembling with suppressed anger as she takes a few threatening steps closer to me. I could see a spark dwelling in her dark, smoky eyes beneath her long lashes. I really felt that if I pushed her any further she'd lynch me on the spot. Still, I had the temptation to give her the feelings gives me, but something stopped me. I don't know whether it was me or some distant thought of forgiveness, but I sighed and held up the palms of my hands towards her in defeat. Would I be any better than her if I'd snap at her? No. I wouldn't. I'd do anything to be different from her. Not because she's Jade but because I'm _not _Jade. We're different and that's what needs to be.

"Okay, I'm sorry." I caved in. "But honestly, I'm just trying to say that you shouldn't smoke." I murmured, glancing downward at my shuffling feet.

"What's it to you anyway, Vega?" she said, her voice slick and smooth like velvet as she blew a cloud of smoke right into my face, still coming closer. "Since when do you care?"

My eyes followed hers, my heart dangerously pounding in my chest at the sight of the black and white and deadly predator coming close to me. It felt like my lungs weren't able to work anymore, but that could've just been because of the smoke. "I've always cared for you." I said, breathlessly, "I wanted us to be friends. You're just too hostile all the time to notice." my eyes swerved to avoid hers but those green eyes were burning a hole into my head. So I turned and looked at her.

Her expression said as much as a brick wall, but her eyes were like glowing embers. No, they were bonfires. "You're _very _interesting. I don't like that. I can't stand that I'm so captivated by you, I'm growing sick of it. No matter how high I build walls around me you keep climbing them."

"But I... I don't get it. Why are you always so unruly? What does that have to do with me specifically?" I just stood there, feeling puzzled. Jade West thinks I'm interesting? Whatever happened to the disgust and uncaring attitude? Has she only hated me because she thought she _had _to? But she merely laughed. It was a soft, low laugh, the small creases near her eyes giving off an oddly kind expression to her normally so deadpan features. It quite suit her.

Jade took one last, long drag of her cigarette and arched her back, blowing the smoke upward, out of my face this time. She was so close I could almost follow the moves she made being reflected in her eyebrow piercing, see the way her lips curled into a sly smile and suddenly I felt uneasy yet thrilled. It had never struck me how gorgeous Jade actually was up until now. Which was a fact hard to deny when she was this close to me. The black-haired girl took the cigarette out of her mouth and, without arguing or giving me any warning, simply put it in between my own lips. Something similar to dominance flickered once, twice in her eyes. Her lips curled further into a smirk that hid feelings she couldn't bring to words. So instead, she pressed a kiss on my cheek like the seal of a secret pact that can't be spoken of.  
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><strong>An: lolol, see what I did there? :D Anyways, there isn't much to tell about this. Victorious bandwagon, so I decided to write something about it. First Victorious fic, implied Jori, as you can see. Also, Sikowitz is the fiercest Jori shipper around. Praise the father of this ship! ALL HAIL SIKOWITZ!  
>Hope I got them in character enough, though maybe Jade is a little bit too hateful. Oh well. Leave me a review? :D<br>**=====

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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<em>**  
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	2. Ch 2: Pandora's Box

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><strong>Pandora's Box<br>**=====

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>I chewed on the back end of my pen as I gazed across the nearly empty library. My homework was laying sprawled on the table, but I kept thinking about a certain girl. Jade. She had continued to be totally oblivious to our little "talk" outside the rest of the day. As well as the next day, and the day after, and so on. I had to admit, after a while I had forgotten it had happened in the first place, but there was a time I found myself staring at the pale-skinned girl's face - for no reason I tell you - and then it hit me again. It wasn't like a brick in the head but more of a subtle reminder as I had torn my eyes off the harsh yet gentle features I once saw so close to me. I still hadn't figured it out. Figured <em>her <em>out.

I mean, the hatred towards me carried on. Even though her exclamations still lingered somewhere in the back of my head, echoing like music, the snarls and insults kept coming in steady. There had been no change. No adjustments. If anything, as the remainder of the week had passed by, it had only seemed like her actions had become more vicious, poisonous. It's such a paradox, it's like trying to open Pandora's Box when you try getting to know Jade. It's near impossible. Idly I wondered how Beck had accomplished it.

I sighed as my eyebrows crunched together and formed a big crease in my brow. I couldn't even concentrate on my homework because I was thinking about her. That fact alone gave me a very weird feeling because Jade has never occupied my thoughts this much that I couldn't focus on anything else. I was never too worried about her. It's almost as if she does it on purpose. Maybe she does. Who knows, it's Jade West after all.

It really shouldn't be any of my concern. If she wanted to hate me, fine. All she had to do was say it and I'd be on my way. But she did it in a way that only seemed to be intended to hurt me more or push me further away. It was the mean girls' way. I sighed.

Closing my book with a dull thud, I decided to hit home early. I hadn't been feeling all too well today and Sikowitz would surely understand if I told him. At least, I hoped. I hoisted my bag on my shoulder and made my way outside.

It was nice, calm and cool in school since classes were still going. Muffled music seeped through the door of some classrooms. I was actually not looking forward to going out in the unprotected heat but I felt so lousy that my silly urges lost to my rationality. I really thought I would have a nice, tranquil day. But on the way out, I bumped into Jade. I sighed, sure, just my luck.

She was tugging this huge black and grey box which seemed to belong backstage. It seemed very heavy and sturdy, judging by the way Jade was putting her back into it but merely moving it an inch or two. The sun was blisteringly hot so naturally I was surprised that Jade was wearing a shirt with long sleeves. Her slender arms moved and slim hands dug their way into her black hair, ruffling it out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. It wasn't for some time until she noticed me.

"Oh, it's you. Having fun?" she asked rather coolly. I raised my eyebrows as she silently continued to drag the box into school as if I weren't there at all.

"I guess so, seems you aren't." I replied, clutching my right arm with my left, ready for the thunderstorm to begin. It was kind of sad that I anticipated her every move with fear, as if she'd strike out and hit me at every wrong word. Jade's mean, but she's never been so angry she'd just simply boil over and completely lose her temper. Even she knows her borders. In any case, if she wanted to be the scary girl I was meant to be afraid of, she had succeeded. Many, many times.

But, to my ultimate surprise, she just groaned, annoyed, and carried on. My forehead creased. I watched the small tendons in her pale hands stick out as she continued to put her best efforts into shoving, pulling and nearly punching the piece of equipment. She groaned and I could sense her frustration, it hung around her like some sort of thick mist.

I felt compelled to help. It's in my nature to help. I never liked to watch people struggle. Whatever it was they were struggling with, I just couldn't stand seeing their desperation or sadness or anger even, seeing them lose to whatever demons were pestering them. I couldn't even resist helping Jade at times, even though I received none to zero feedback whenever I did. "No" was just not part of my vocabulary. So I dropped my bag to the ground and reluctantly walked over to Jade.

I placed my hands next to hers, them being much in contrast to her skin colour and started pushing. I saw Jade's dark eyebrows raise in question from the corner of my eye. "You're actually trying to help me here, Vega? How ever so nice of you. Should I now bow before you?"

"Believe it or not, I am nice. And nice people help other people." I said, nodding at her as the box grinded over the asphalt, "Whether they are nice as well or not. Maybe you should try it. "

"No, thanks. I'm doing just fine." the tone of her voice suggested she was grinning.

I rolled my eyes. The silence resumed, the only sound being our breathing or rather the huffs of upcoming exhaustion and the noise of the box being shoved over the ground. I tried my best to keep the silence, though I had lots of questions and things to say to Jade. The birds tweeted away in the trees and I was starting to feel very warm. Even though it worked better with the two of us, it still seemed as if the school entrance was miles away, and the sun was just past its zenith. The temperature was becoming unbearable.

Stealing a look next to me, I noticed Jade looking unfazed and I ended up blurting out questions before I could stop myself. "Say, aren't you burning up in that shirt of yours?"

"Now now, I might be hot, but I don't sweat, remember?" Jade exclaimed, a wicked grin on her face as she ceased her efforts regarding the box and sat on top of it. I followed her lead and plopped down on the ground next to her stocking-legs, back against the black box. I closed my eyes for a second, feeling sticky and thirsty and tired. My ears registered the sound of a lighter, a soft inhale and a shaky exhale, but it took a moment for the sound to lodge itself into my full consciousness. My eyes flew open and I turned so quickly my neck hurt.

"Jade! Have you gone completely nuts? You're on school grounds for Pete's sake, put that away!"

Another inhale, exhale. "What are you now, my mom?" one of Jade's eyebrows cocked up in question, thick curls pushed behind her ear. Careless emerald eyes looked down on me - quite literally - and one corner of her lips was pushed upward in a crooked, half-hidden smile.

"Listen, I'm being serious. You're seventeen, this is not okay, Jade. Don't you get that?"

"You see this face?" the pale-skinned girl asked, pointing at her own face with her index finger. It was expressionless and I frowned. "This face equals the amount of shits I give. As you can see, dear Tori, I don't care. I smoke because I want to." she shrugged.

I picked myself off the sizzling asphalt, placed myself in front of the black-haired girl and crossed my arms in front of my chest. Jade's lips puckered a little and she raised her eyebrows expectantly, arrogantly if you may. If anything, I was the one who did care. Even if she didn't or would never, I'd always care about her because I cannot _not _care. I couldn't watch her throw her career away, even about such a trivial thing as smoking. Had she not accounted to the consequences?

So in my temporary fit of insanity I bluntly snatched the cigarette from her lips.

I couldn't quite follow what happened next. Jade's expression had changed from mildly neutral to ticked off in a heartbeat and I felt this would not end well. An iron vice-like grip tightened around my wrist and Jade's face was close to mine again before I even knew. It was oddly familiar, but her eyes radiated far more anger than last time. The danger was tangible, I could feel it drip down on me. My breath hitched in my throat as I caught the scent of tobacco and fresh linen and I idly wondered why it smelled so good.

She was growling as her eyes punctured holes into mine. I didn't flinch this time. "No one smokes just because they like to. Honestly, have you got _one_good reason?"

"Do I need one? Who are you to demand things from me?"

"Yes you need one because I don't want to watch you risk your future career like this. You could be expelled, you know. Thought about that?" I asked, my words more harsh than I intended them to be. Regret washed over me almost instantaneously as Jade's face darkened.

"I've said it before but I'll say it again, you'd better watch yourself. You don't want to try and care." her voice was merely a low hiss as she spat out the words one by one, and I suddenly realized something way deeper was going on here. The grip on my wrist tightened and my face twisted for just a second. I had no clue for how long we stood like this. Jade was still fuming, mouth a hard, straight line but after a moment her eyes seemed to flicker with regret and then she let go and simply stalked off.

I yelled for her to come back but it was fruitless. Her figure started getting smaller as I watched her walk into the main school entrance. Looking at the cigarette in my hand, I wondered what was up. She'd never snapped at me like this before, I really thought I could just talk to her. I meant no harm, I just wanted to protect her. Jade is much like an electrical wire you can't touch but you want to just to feel what it's like to get burnt. That is how I feel around her. I want to get closer but I can't but I still do.

And trespassers will be shot.  
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>The rest of the day had passed in quite a blur. I got home feeling exhausted and I fell into a deep sleep before I even knew it. I'd woken up because Trina was stomping up and down the stairs in some crazy fit. I had missed dinner but I wasn't hungry after all. Quietly doing some homework seemed to suffice for now, the soft music from my pearpad on the background. I tried not to think of Jade, and I succeeded for some time. But dang, she just wouldn't let go. She'd left quite the impression.<p>

Luckily, I had more distraction coming my way. I got an incoming call on Skype and I smiled to see it was André.

"Yo, Tori, where were you during class?" he asked immediately and I felt better because of his extremely concerned face. I doubted whether to tell what happened. I knew Jade wouldn't be too pleased if everyone suddenly knew about her smoking. A shiver ran down my spine, heck, she'd _murder _me.

So I lied. It was very much unlike me but I'd have to if I wanted to continue living. "I didn't feel so good so I hit home early. Did I miss anything?"

"Naw, it was alright. Nothing special." he shrugged, "Sikowitz probably didn't even notice you were gone, he was so caught up in the new play he was writing it would've took three bulldozers tearing down the wall behind him to snap him out of his trance."

André knew how to make me laugh. "What kind of play is he writing? Do you know anything about it?"

"I couldn't quite catch on the gibberish he was exclaiming, but something about an orphanage, the year 2154 and two people finding love." One has to love the overly-creative mind that belonged to Sikowitz. His plays were the weirdest but then again the greatest. I couldn't wait until he had finish writing it and distributed the roles. The play sounded rather interesting and I'd do anything to be in it, since they're so well-appreciated it's a great chance to shine.

"So, Tori, I was wondering, could you help me out with my homework? I have to make a song but I'm short on lyrics."

I nodded, already reaching out to my textbook."Sure! What kind of lyrics do they need to be?" I wanted to continue but then the doorbell rang. "Oh, hold on a minute, I think there's someone at the door." I minimalized the chat window, quickly slipped into something more decent and made my way down the stairs.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, I frowned when I saw it was quite late and my curiosity grew rapidly. I opened the door and almost instantaneously a flurry of black and blue shot through my vision, into the room and I nearly sprained my neck for the second time that day. You could say I was very much _bewildered _to see Jade standing in my living room but that would've been an understatement. Not quite catching the myriad of feelings and questions jumping through my head, I just frowned at her with my jaw on the ground and my heart breaking out of my ribcage for unknown reasons. Her eyes radiated worry, frustration and some sort of regret.

"Jade? What are you- why are you here? Did something happen?" I halfheartedly reached out to her, not sure what to do.

Said girl took a deep breath as she looked down to the ground and murmured, "I ask myself a hundred, thousand times a day why you care so much for me. I mean here I am, bursting into your home after what I said this afternoon and _still _you ask whether I am okay. I'm a fucking disgrace."

My mouth opened on its own accord and then slammed shut again. I didn't know what to do. For the first time in my life I genuinely didn't know what to say. Here she was, clenching her fists together with such a hurt expression on her face that it kindled my urge to hold her, but I couldn't do a thing. I couldn't because it was Jade. She'd go completely out of control if I only touched a single hair on her body on accident, let alone embrace her or give some comfort. So she just _stood _there.

It felt like hours had passed when I said something again. "Jade, I don't- are you sure you're okay? You can tell me."

She seemed to feel uneasy and out of place. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and her appearance was small and hidden as if she'd rather be somewhere else. For once she wasn't an intimidating, fiery girl, no, here she was fragile and unsure and it sort of scared me. Who made Jade West _feel _things except for Beck? Her eyes were mysterious as they dwelled in the shade of her hair and hid behind dark lashes. "I just wanted to apologize for my... behaviour."

"Well, you know. I'm used to it." I joked, shrugging and chuckling nervously because that was the only thing I could do.

Jade snorted humorlessly and she arched one of her eyebrows, taking two big strides towards me with her long legs. Her mossy green shirt waved just as loosely around her curves as her hair did around her face in the movement. "That's the shit-part. You aren't supposed to be. Do you have any idea how much I loathe myself for acting like this to you?"

"Probably not." wasn't there any other body part I could focus on but her quite marvelous face? I swallowed. "But isn't it quite a simple solution? Be nice to me? I don't seem to get why that's so hard for you, it's not like I am mean to you either. Heck, I _want _to be friends. Can't we get on the same terms for once? I won't bite." I meant what I said and Jade noticed. The strong and persistent look on her face dropped for a moment, but then her lips turned into a hard line again.

"It's not quite as easy as you think it is. Do you know that paper-thin line between love and hate, Vega?" her legs now closed the remaining distance between us and I vaguely wondered if it was really such a necessity to be this close because I felt uncomfortably warm. Our foreheads nearly touched and simply stood nailed to the ground. "I cross it more often than I'd like." Her gaze swerved from holding mine to the lower part of my body and with predacious eyes she smirked and moved it back up again.

"Just try it. What have you got to lose? What's stopping you, Jade?" I stammered, my voice trembling.

I felt her hands weave into my hair all of a sudden and she gripped it, somehow caressing. Her painted fingernails lightly scraped the skin of my head and a wave of goose bumps traveled to my arms, down my whole back and even up the side of my face. Her shaky breath felt warm on my lips - when did she come so close? - and all of my bodily functions just stopped.

"It's more intricate than you'd might assume. You don't seem to understand that what's stopping me is in fact you. Only you, Tori." her voice was but a smooth, low and quivering whisper, like a last breath trusted with her most important secret. Surely she was blowing things way out of proportion. Right? I mean, how would I be the one stopping her to like me and accept me? Have I done her any harm? Unconsciously I might've but I never intended any hurt upon her.

"But- I don't see how I could've-" my words came out in a stutter, not being able to comprehend. Feeling stupid, I snapped my mouth shut and just shot Jade puzzled gazes. I wondered how she could keep up with this pace of thought. If anything, it'd have to make her feel confused too.

The pale-skinned girl's hands unwrapped my hair, leaving a tingling sensation where her hands had been seconds ago. She then made a beeline for the door, her heavy heels clacking on the floor, the sound resonating through the unasked questions in my head, making those seem useless and unwanted.

"Oh, and trust me, I'm going to lose something very precious. Something I'm already starting to lose." Jade stated rather enigmatical, one hand lingering on the doorframe and looking back over her shoulders, her eyes somehow sad and her fire extinguished, "But hey, no worries. No one will miss it." she winked and left, leaving the room empty. The silence was suddenly deafening.

Standing there for a minute - or two or five, I couldn't really tell - I tried to let every word, every syllable Jade had spoken drench down on me in some sort of attempt to understand.

I staggered back to my room in some sort of daze, absentmindedly plopping down on my bed in front of the pearpad. Thoughts swirling and colliding with assumptions, conclusions, and I felt as if I missed just one piece of a gigantic puzzle I couldn't quite finish before. I couldn't decipher Jade. "Well, that tookya long enough. Who was it?" André asked on our chat.

"... Jade." my voice was just a crackling, echo-less sound.

André laughed. "That's strange, man. What did she want? It'd have to be something special, for her to turn up atcho place."

Was it special? I couldn't quite tell. Her words had been cryptic and riddled with hidden messages but they hadn't quite yet unfolded in my head. I knew that she'd indeed had to have a good reason to come at my doorstep but her face had been so _serious_. I would've doubted her every word if only her face hadn't been so tell-tale. Jade had shown a side to me I never even knew existed. It was so unlike her I struggled to comprehend what her motives were.

The monotonous, dull thuds of an upcoming headache drilled at the base of my skull and I sighed. My cool hands rested against my temples on their own accord and it soothed the whizzing tornado in my mind. The dark-haired girl seemed to be more complex than I expected. Why couldn't things ever be normal?

"I don't really know."  
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>An: herpaderp, so I decided I'd make this one-shot a full multi-chap. I've thought up a nice plot and now let's hope I stick to it (:  
><strong>**I feel this chapter is maybe a bit too fast and too short also but I forgot there's like three to four days between chapter one and two. So it's all good. I'll see if I can make ch.3 longer though, but I can't promise anything. I'm bad at writing long chapters. I'll try though.**

**Hope you liked it, leave me review! :3  
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><em><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, sadly<strong>_  
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	3. Ch 3: Breathe

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><strong>Breathe<br>**=====

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>"Tori! Can I please have your attention? This is a very emotional day, and I'd like you to participate."<p>

Sikowitz's class. I blinked hard once, snapping out of my trance, guiltily realizing I'd been staring at the side of Jade's face the entire time. Biting my lip, I turned back to Sikowitz, an embarrassed blush creeping up my cheeks as I noticed half the class staring at me, including Jade. Hot tingles made their way up the back of my neck, dancing on my spine as I practically felt her scorching, venomous look on my face. It wasn't my fault at all I couldn't stop thinking of her. Really. I mean, if she just had been _normal_. Had last night just been that.

"Right." I coughed loudly, rearranging my hair. "Sorry. Eh, what were you saying?"

His eyebrows dipped over his eyes for a minute before he continued, pausing almost dramatically. "Yes! As I was saying, this is a very emotional moment. The play I've been working on is now finished! I'm sure you're all very curious so here's the plot for you right away!" he simply ignored our frowns and disagreeing glances, "It's about two orphaned children who, after a time of separation and intergalactic war, find they are now each other's enemies. At first thrown off by this fact, still, they overcome their countries rivalry and get back together." He paused again.

"Throughout the story, one of the countries supports their decisions and idea. Their way towards love, however, is thwarted by an evil power. This force, this person, is the leader of the opposing country, who all but wants to destroy his enemies and crumble them to pieces. But in the end, he is the one crushed."

The whole class was silent for a while after Sikowitz had finished, thoughts munching on the inside of their heads. Sikowitz looked apprehensive, coconut and all in hand. "That's... well actually, that's not even so bad. Pretty generic." Beck replied after a while, narrowing his eyes, "How come it's not some crazy weird story line this time?"

"Yeah. Where are the rare diseases or conjoined twins? Talking dogs?" André piped in.

"Heathen army?" I laughed at that one. As one would expect of Cat.

"Also, I do believe all of you are _dying_to know your roles," Sikowitz went on impassively, ignoring everyone as per usual, descending the small staircase on the stage with the script clenched in his hand, "And seeing I haven't slept for two days we might as well get on with it before I collapse. Right!" I frowned as his foot missed a step and he nearly came crashing down to the ground.

He just barely caught himself, scratching his head, as if he didn't quite knew what he was doing. "First up is the role of captain Fenris, leader of the New Empire, the evil force tearing our lovers apart. The New Empire is one of the opposing groups for which the protagonists battle, in case you wondered... Beck!"

The brown-haired boy smiled at patted Jade's leg for a bit in contentment, the latter smiling back sweetly and my eyebrow damn near perched itself on my hairline. I don't know why, but a twang of something I couldn't quite indentify - I wouldn't like to say it was envy - pierced my stomach, making it knot together painfully. Eyebrows plunging down into a deep hunch, lines creasing my forehead. I had seen them together hundreds, thousands of times and it never really shocked me as much as today.

It suddenly occurred to me how wrong they looked as a couple. Beck was the cool guy and Jade the rebel. In looks they fit but in minds they would not. She never lets anyone in and he won't understand. Though opposites attract I felt as though it was something doomed to fail. I knew they had fights often, but I never quite fit that in the picture I was able to see just now. It was like a fog had lifted, revealing a far larger view than I had been looking at beforehand. I wasn't sure if I liked it.

I tore my eyes off them, suppressing the thoughts. Why would I care? For heaven's sake, I wouldn't let these feelings control me. Jade didn't want anything to do with me, then so be it.

Leaving my slightly straggling breath for what it was, my eyes and ears dawned Sikowitz again. "The part of the other leader, our commander Humphrey, the man who will help our lovebirds in any peril that comes on their way, will be played by André!" said boy's eyes lit up and he nodded gratefully.

"His trusty sidekick, lieutenant McLeary, is to be fulfilled by our wonderful Cat." a high squeal filled the classroom for a bit and she clasped her hands together. Then, Sikowitz's expression changed into something mysterious, lips quirking upward in a knowing and darkened smile. "Now, for the protagonists. Our lovebirds in this play are private Marshall, a young, dashing lad and sergeant Gale, a lady experienced in firearms." he inserted yet another dramatic pause and suddenly I could almost feel it in the air.

Breath hitched in my throat and I'd do anything, _anything _rather than sit here and wait for my verdict. I never was one to believe in bad luck but my gut feeling was so very strong at this point. Shivers erupted on my back. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

"Their roles will respectfully be played by Tori and Jade."

I knew it. I didn't know how but I knew it. I just sensed it coming. The whole class was silent but I couldn't really blame them. Jaw dropped to the ground, Jade's eyes were nearly popping out of her skull and I figured I looked pretty much the same, though she looked about ready to maul Sikowitz on the spot, with her bare hands if she had to. I could understand, though. Seriously, had he gone mad? I mean, I knew he wasn't a hundred percent sane, but to pair us up? As lovers? _Really?_

I felt Jade's emerald eyes burn on me as she turned towards me as if I was conspiring with Sikowitz and had just been caught. I swallowed hard, throat dangerously dry, shooting puzzled glances at Jade, whom she returned only with angrier, deadlier ones.

"Um, not to be a party-pooper, Sikowitz... but, do you really think that's... well, smart?" André carefully broke the silence, his voice timid as his frown seemed to keep growing deeper. Sikowitz however was unruffled and unimpressed. He simply shrugged, having a sit down on the stage.

"Why not? Jade and Tori played a very good husband and wife in the last play, I'm sure they can pull it off again."

The dark-skinned boy brought his hand to his face and sighed. "Yeah, okay. But, come on. Look at them. Do they look happy to you?"

Sikowitz's face scanned mine and Jade's for a moment, as if calculating our moods. I'm sure it wasn't very hard to tell we both weren't too thrilled with his idea. I knew that personal issues shouldn't be part of professional ones and should certainly not be a problem or mess with the separate relations, but I just couldn't accept this. I could not say yes to his decision. Not because I thought it was a bad move, but more because Jade would actually rip me apart alive if I agreed on it.

"They look fine to me. Now, I want no more arguing. I picked these roles and they will stay this way. Make it work, people." Sikowitz said, taking a sip from his coconut juice. Then, he fell over backwards with a loud thud and started snoring, fast asleep. André just shook his head.

I watched Beck's eyes drift cautiously towards his girlfriend. Jade still looked like a human time bomb that was one minute from going off, ticking away, boiling gunpowder slowly tearing her apart at the seams. She was fuming, arms crossed defiantly over her chest, waiting for something to pull her trigger. Emerald eyes then turned to me and I froze on the spot, gulping.

Her low voice wasn't even a sneer as she got out of her chair and stalked over to me. "Well, _well_, Vega. Seems like it's you and me again. We'd better get started, right?" I frowned because I didn't understand but Jade had grabbed my hand and dragged me out the class before I knew it, yanking me into the janitors closet. The door slammed shut and the raven-haired girl leaned in close - seriously, again? - with hard, unforgiving eyes looking back into my own, making hairs in my neck stand up as if touched by electricity.

"J-Jade come on, be reasonable. It's not like I wanted this either." I blurt out, taking a step away from her but the wall is pressing up against my back.

"Oh, I know that. But we'll have to, right?" her slender arms were still folded against her body as she advanced towards me, nearly pushing me _through _the damn wall. "It's our duty now, so I might as well make the most. For as far as that's possible." a sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at me with a bored look on her face. "So, when do you want to practise?"

My eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Practise? You're - you're actually not joking?"

"Why, do you want me to? For once I'm being pliable and yet here you are, bitching about it. Make up your mind, Vega." her words hit home hard and my lips formed a hard line, yet I didn't want to lash out at her. She actually wanted to cooperate on this. The relentless Jade wanted to be somewhat nice and give me the benefit of doubt. Was the apocalypse coming? I wasn't sure if I could trust her. But hey, might as well take my chances. There was no way an opportunity like this would rise again. Ever.

I sighed, holding up my palms in defeat, looking down. "Chill, I was just wondering, since it's... so hard to believe. But okay, let's do this then. You can come over whenever you like."

Something like a grin flashed on her face for a brief second and it made my breath hitch in my throat. "Good. 'Cause you'll be expecting me tonight."

Jade turned around on her heels and promptly left the closet, strutting out like she owned the place, leaving me stranded. _Tonight_? As if spending school days with her wasn't enough, she had decided to come over in my free time as well. It was like she lived to watch me burn down by her own flame. I wasn't sure whether I was going to survive this or not. For now it seemed like she had settled for a somewhat mutual respect, if you could call it that. It was like a truce but not yet quite.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the smudgy wall, exhaling deeply. This was great. Just great. Though I didn't understand how the sudden attitude flip had gotten into her, I wasn't displeased with her words and actions. It was a tiny step into the right direction. And that is what I wanted. Right?

Making my way out the closet I returned to class, not really picking up any words, like a broken radio fixed on a different frequency. The thoughts in my head moved around like a furious maelstrom, a tornado of assumptions and worst-case scenarios. It was scary because all of them regarded Jade. She was scary enough by herself, let alone worries that concerned her. Nothing out of the ordinary, you would think, but I had never been thinking about someone this often that it was something I had to get adapted to.

It was all new. I used to be careless but now I've got so many things to wonder about its dizzying.

I didn't even register the ride home, being that far in thought, completely zoned out. Apparently Trina had been yapping about some boy she had seen during dancing, and she had made a beeline into the house because I hadn't been listening. Seemingly I'd spaced out that much. If there's one thing - of the many- to trigger her anger it's by not paying attention.

Everything in my head was such a mess that I couldn't even eat, shoving a few potatoes down my gullet just because I _had _to. Homework wasn't an option either, so I chose to skim through the script of the play before Jade, my play lover, would appear at my doorstep. The thought alone made my stomach knot together.

Completely sidetracking, my mind wandered off again. It was just so weird to have my life revolve around Jade so suddenly. She'd always been there, but more quiet and backed down, like the soft hum of background music which melody is only revealed when you tune in to listen to it. The pale-skinned girl was much more like a full blasting radio now, crashing into my life with full force. But for now I was only trying to let it come steadily and easily. I would try to not worry too much, that would be the end of me.

The doorbell rang all too soon and Jade was in my house again before I could raise a protest.

"Do you want something to drink?" I offered, much more out of habit than friendliness as I let her in, closing the door behind her.

"No thanks. Don't play misses nice, I'm not here for your cosiness and kindness, Vega." Jade said coolly, not missing a beat. She turned towards me slowly, one hand up in her hair, fingers playing with the dark curls. "I'm only here to practise. Nothing more, nothing less." voice hard, giving no chance for me to apologize or back out of my statement, though it had only been my manners speaking.

I frowned at her. "Fine. Let's head upstairs then."

Really, we were like two little children that were so angry they didn't talk to each other, yet the urge to do so was suffocating. I could once again feel the tension hanging between us like something palpable as we walked towards my room and I really did wonder, for the umpteenth time, how it'd gotten to this. It wouldn't matter at all and after all, whatever it was.

Jade sauntered through her room and bluntly sat down on the bed, shovelling her legs underneath her as she pulled out the script. "So, where do you want to start, _Marshall?_"

"Straight to business huh? Okay. That's cool." I said, standing opposite of her. I'll play along with your games, it's all fine by me. "Let's just begin at the first act, I haven't really done much but skim it through in the short time I had to learn it, so if I mess up a little that's the blame." The black-haired girl merely cocked her eyebrow, getting up from the bed.

The first scene was us as young Marshall Lee and Evelyn Gale, two childhood friends, both orphaned, playing outside and silently musing about where our parents were, if they were still alive in the first place. It was a harsh starter for the audience, but it brought an important message. I believe we would play kids around the age of twelve here, but I couldn't quite tell.

"Alright." I coughed, sudden nerves assaulting my insides, voice slightly shaking. "Say, Evelyn. Do you ever, you know, wonder?"

Much, much softer, glowing emerald eyes now looked into mine as she got into her role and it knocked the breath out of me. "I wonder a lot, but what are you getting at?"

"I mean, you know... about our parents. What happened to them? Where are they now? Are they happy? That kind of stuff."

I had to grip my script with both hands to stop shaking, having to check where I was at every three damn seconds. Jade was completely throwing me out of my concentration, simply by not doing _anything_. All of her harsh features and unforgiving voice had disappeared, as if something had clicked inside her. Eyes were relaxed and body language inviting and comfortable. This wasn't Jade. This was the human being I'd encountered yesterday, presenting itself for me again.

This was the Jade underneath all the pins and needles. Her dark hair was draped around her face as she pushed it backward and her face looked much rounder and softer; it did suit her. I wondered why she'd keep up the hateful mask around me, why she only revealed this on occasions that didn't involve me. She proved to be a bigger mystery than I thought.

I tried to shake away the thought as I registered her line. "Marshall. How many times do I need to tell you. I don't- they're dead, okay? There's no wondering about how the dead are faring. They are nothing more than spirits and the dust in the air. It's nothing to be sad about too because they're long gone. So stop thinking. It's bad for you."

"I don't believe you. I know they're out there somewhere. I can feel it in my bones." I took a step closer to her and cautiously grabbed one of her hands. Even though the script required it, I was afraid Jade would burst out in flames and yank my head off my neck. But she didn't. Her hands lay warm in mine and the sensation was quite a welcome change. I could _touch _Jade West. Surviving to tell the tale. I know for a fact that a lot of people haven't been able to say that but Beck. I took a shaky breath. "Don't you feel it?"

She shook her head lightly, hand squeezing mine. "No. Just let it go."

"I can't it, Evelyn. Not believing they're alive is not an option. I have to get out of here. I want to find my parents." I frowned at looked at Jade, "Won't you go with me?"

Another subtle shake of the head and it was hard to remind myself that this was acting. We were not Tori and Jade now. "You and I both know it's not a reason to leave. Why would you? It's war out there, Marshall. Do you want to go and get killed? It's already not safe here, let alone venture on your own. I don't want you to leave, either."

"But don't you want to just... explore? We're getting old enough to take care of ourselves and all."

Jade shook her hand free and walked back a few steps, like the script instructed her to do, voice pleading, soft. "No. No, we don't. We're children! Be reasonable. Please don't leave."

My next move was supposed to be me pulling Jade - Evelyn, in this case - back into my hold. So I lunged forwards and I grabbed her by the wrist but she yanked it back instantly, her face cringed with pain, eyes fearful and tell-tale. The atmosphere broke and she was like a deer caught in the headlights. Slowly a thick, red stream of fluid trickled down the hand which she clutched her other hand with and onto the carpet. I frowned and then it clicked and an unpleasant chill raked my shoulders. _Oh no_.

"Jade... you're- you're bleeding?"  
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>An: dum dum duuuum. That's all I got to say regarding this whole chapter.  
>The other thing I do want to mention is that my exams are coming up, so I'm not sure if I can update as fast as I have been doing. I will try my hardest to write a few words in between studying and acing those damn test like bauws, but I can't promise anything. So please, bear with me.<strong>

**And yes, Marshall Lee is an Adventure Time reference. Deal with it!**

**Leave me a review? (:  
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><em><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<strong>_  
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	4. Ch 4: Sanctuary

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><strong>Sanctuary<br>**=====

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>I couldn't do anything but dumbly stare at the bloodstream, drops coloring the carpet in a dark, almost eerie red. The wheels and gears in my head were turning too fast to grasp that one thought that lingered in the back of my head, the one thought I did not dare to formulate. But the cogs kept stopping at that exact point, like a fault in the system. Would I be right? Moreover, what would I do if I were? Yes, I was expecting the worst, but God knows Jade is full of surprises, whether they're good or bad ones.<p>

All the while Jade stood there like a little child caught cheating on a game, glazed-over eyes cast down, brow littered with creases and lines. My palms started to go sweaty as nerves crept up my throat, pushing the air out of my lungs. Why did she continue to put me in situations I could not handle? _How_ does she _do_ that?

"W-why are you bleeding? Did you get hurt?" I asked after what seemed like hours, days, weeks. I felt Jade distancing herself, both mentally and physically. She backed off and didn't make eye contact and I winced as a stab of sadness hit me. By the time she opened her mouth she was already light years away from me.

"It's nothing. Just a scratch."

I frowned. Jade's voice was so stern and remote it was obvious she wasn't lying. No, it was routine. She wasn't even hiding it anymore. It's just her plain convincing me that there's no problem. "Is it really okay that it's bleeding this much? I should probably get some band aids, can I have a look at it?" I knew my inquiry was risky but I was intent to find out what was up. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to confirm my sudden suspicions or not but it'd be better to get straight to the point. Just get over with it for once.

"It's fine, Vega." her voice was merely an emotionless huff, her eyes daring to look in mine again. "Like I said, just a scratch, it's nothing. I'm not dying, okay?"

"Scratch or not, the bleeding has to stop. I don't want you to die of blood loss, neither do I want my carpet to be ruined forever." I walked towards my desk without further ado, disregarding Jade's stop signs. I could feel her grow angry but for once I couldn't care less. If her anger was the thunder I'd be the conductor. Rummaging around in the drawers, I found a tiny bandage supply. Ignoring the pale-skinned girl's refusal, I pushed her onto the bed. "Hey, Vega! What the chizz do you think you're doing?"

She had spat out the words but I wasn't going to let her win this time. I was going to find out what was up with her this time. For the first time. My insides were knotting together and my heart leapt in my chest as trembling fingers pushed away defending hands and lifted up a thin film of clothing. Jade gasped. "Tori, no, _please-_"

It was like a little piece of earth had been whacked out underneath me when I inspected her arm, or rather, what was left of it. My body froze. I'd heard stories of people self-harming. Sure I did. But experiencing it first-hand was something _completely_ different. I never knew the impact it could have, and I certainly didn't know it was this heart-wrenching. I was breathless and feeling slightly nauseous, head spinning. My vision was hazy as my eyes stuck to Jade's wrist like glue. Criss-cross and straight lines. Big and small, long and curved and _words_. Letters, sentences carved into porcelain skin. Thin, silvery-white scars, some faded and fresh red ones, blood oozing out of a particularly deep cut. I couldn't breathe as I tore my eyes off the mangled body part.

Jade's eyes were foggy and tears streamed down her pale cheeks and my heart just shattered. I bit my bottom lip hard and before I knew it I had my arms around her. I felt her hands snake around me and grip my shirt hard, digging her head into my neck. Her body trembled, shoulders jerking, fighting against the tears in vain. A low, surrendering hum escaped her throat and I knew Jade West had broken. I whispered words of promises into her ear about better times and I hoped to God I would stick around long enough to make them come true for her.

She doesn't deserve to feel like this. No one should. To feel so out of tune with yourself or with your life that you would start mutilating your own body, harming your own flesh and blood and only place your soul could live in, your only material hold that keeps you here; that's a feeling no person should experience. I couldn't even image how it would feel, shuddering at the thought alone.

If only I had known before. To be fairly honest, it was quite clear now. It all fell into place, even though the final picture was very wrong. The rebellion, the carelessness. All because she couldn't care about life anyway. All to hide this fragile heap of human she was right now, this moment of barely hanging on. I wondered what the trigger was, but I was afraid to ask.

Trembling hands clenched my shirt even tighter, fingernails nearly digging into my back. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I couldn't believe that this was Jade's secret. I didn't want to believe. To see such a strong being crumble away so quickly and to see her so devastated. I couldn't bear to hear her shaky and gut-wrenching sobs. It was _not _a pleasant thing.

Even though Jade treats me like a piece of trash at times, I still felt the need to protect her. I was holding her in my arms and she felt so different that I couldn't permit myself to let her go and destroy herself again. Not today, not ever again. I don't know where it came from but in this moment I felt closer to her than I had ever been.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Tori." Jade's voice made my skin erupt in goosebumps and I let her go enough to see her make-up-smudged, broken face.

"You don't have to apologize. Just, I don't- let me bandage it first, okay? It's bad enough as it is."

Jade just nodded and I was surprised at my own calmness. My head was suddenly very clear, every step I had to take marked out in a route. It was like I already knew what to do, even though I'd never been in a situation like this before. It was weirdly exhilarating, being able to control circumstances like this.

I had her wrist bandaged up in mere minutes, making sure it was relatively clean before I wrapped the sterile gauze around her arm. Jade was much like a statue. Cold and stoic. I couldn't even hear or sense her breath and I had to regularly look at her crushed face to confirm that she was awake or even alive. It scared me. It scared me how she had hidden this and how she had succeeded. It was truly terrifying to see Jade in pieces, knowing the awful façade she must've kept on all this time. How long had she been like this? And why?

My heart felt like it was under pressure, a constant weight draped over it, making it heavy as I took hold of Jade's hands and looked in her emerald eyes. I couldn't quite grasp the emptiness that they held now. They used to gleam in a thousand ways. I couldn't comprehend how all of her personality as I knew it had just vanished into thin air.

"Jade... I really don't know what to say, and it probably sounds dumb, but... how come? Why do you do this to yourself?"

Eyebrows hunched over heavy-lidded eyes. Jade sniffled and bit her bottom lip, refusing to speak. Her mouth quivered and a few stray tears rolled over her cheeks.

"Can I be honest? I don't know anything about you, of course, but you're a beautiful girl, Jade." I let one of her hands go and brought her face to level mine, coaxing her head up. Her eyes were expectant but distant and drained. "You're interesting, okay? In so many ways. I know I haven't seen them all, I know I've only seen angry Jade, but I'm so sure you're so much more."

"I'm not beautiful." she murmured back, not breaking the eye contact. "Not really."

I blinked and raised my eyebrows. "Jade. You are pretty. I've said it before, I meant it and I mean it now."

Verdant eyes flickered away from mine only to return quickly, insecurity burning in her eyes. Dark lashes stuck together with wet make-up as a soft, shaky thank you sputtered from her lips like a dying flame. I let my thumb graze across the freshly-bandaged wrist and I bit my lip, pondering on a million questions. I wasn't afraid to ask - if anything, I wanted to help Jade - but I wouldn't know if she would answer them. It's still _Jade_. She still hates my guts, whether she's emotionally broken down or not.

Swallowing down my fear, I cautiously approached the subject. "But is that why you- why you do this?" my eyes glanced down for a moment, "Because you're insecure?"

Jade shrugged. "Sometimes. Look, Tori, it's complicated, you shouldn't be wasting your time with me anyways. I'm fine." quivering hands wiped away the make-up that had smothered all around her eyes, repressed sobs like a low hum in the back of her throat.

"No, you're not. You're cutting yourself and you dare say you're _fine_? For the hundredth time, I care about you. Whether you care about me or not doesn't matter, and normally I wouldn't push my will onto you, but this is serious, Jade. I want to help you and I can't if you're struggling." Jade's eyes softened and gleamed with unshed, fresh tears. I instantly felt a wave of regret. "I know it might be hard for you to talk about this, but this is not okay. You deserve better, okay?"

My words hit hard and she let herself sink into my arms again, clinging onto me, body trembling and my heart was breaking again. It struck me what a strong girl Jade actually is. Not in physical strength - not that I know of - but in an emotional perspective. How long had she been holding up that mask of mental sanity, an attitude that said 'I'm okay'? How come others have never noticed? If her wounds were this severe someone would've noticed, right? What about Beck? Surely he would've known of the issue.

The black-haired girl let me go softly again after some time, her shoulders slumping as she sat there on the couch next to me, robbed of feelings and happiness. I cringed and almost instinctively I reached out to grab her hand, and she let me. "So... what's up then?" I asked lamely, smiling nervously, trying to be encouraging.

She exhaled deeply and gazed down at her feet. I could tell she was hesitating but somehow I knew the words were on the tip of her tongue, ready to wash out like a flood.

"Beck and I... we- we have some issues." Jade eventually said, voice thick and shaky but at least she talked. It blew me away that she wanted to talk about this. With _me_. I couldn't quite guess if it was because she had broken down anyway or because she _wanted _to talk about this with me. It was both fine, really.

I nodded when unsure eyes looked into mine, thumb absentmindedly grazing across her bandaged wrist and somewhere in the back of my mind I faintly registered that the feel of Jade's hand in mine wasn't all that bad. "That, and the fact that my parents are on the brink of divorcing, blaming me along the way, really. Oh yeah, and to top that, I think I'm in love with someone else. Someone I shouldn't be in love with, to make it even more fucked up." her voice wavered but she bit back the tears.

"Jade, I'm sorry. It's not fair that you have to go through so much. You don't deserve it." I felt tired and I could imagine how drained Jade must feel. "I won't ask more of you for tonight. Enough is enough, you already said more than you should. Can you do me a favour, though?"

A shrug of her slender shoulders. "I suppose so. Depends what it is."

"Spend the night with me? It's already pretty late and it's weekend after all." I smiled, getting off the bed and offering Jade my hand again. "And really, I can't let you go home alone right now. I'm sure you'd make it on your own, I'm not questioning that, but if something happened I could never forgive myself. It'd be etched on my consciousness forever. Please?"

Even though Jade's expression was ambivalent, her lips curled up slightly as she took my hand. "God, you're such a pushover, Vega."  
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>We were in bed not much later. It was a little awkward in the beginning, but hey, there's a once for everything, right? Jade had been upset about lying next to me in my bed - even though it was expansive enough - but soon exhaustion took over and she scooted in there without trouble. It was just past midnight now and I could feel Jade dozing off, her limbs contracting as their respective muscles relaxed, breathing slow and heavy. The calmness was scary in contrast to just half an hour ago, when emotions and secrets spilled from Jade's lips like a dam had broken.<p>

Yet there was something in the quiet night air, hanging around us like a thick fog. Like we were in the eye of the storm, the worse had yet to come. I didn't know what would be coming, but I had a feeling this wasn't over anytime soon. Jade would have a lot to fight yet. What we discussed was nothing to what was littered across Jade's arm, let alone to what was lodged in her mind. It would be a hard time. I just hoped she'd fight it with me, how weird that even sounds.

I never really expected to suddenly be this close to my nemesis, if you may. Not in this way. This was like being thrown into the lions pit, standing no chance because you don't know what to do yet you try and try to make the best of it. Jade was foreign terrain to me and vice versa, but I wouldn't even mind discovering every inch of it.

I looked aside and I noticed that Jade's eyes were open. I frowned and turned over onto my side, hands searching for hers in the darkness. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." her whisper was merely a low, warm breath on my lips, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "Yeah, I'm fine. Look, Tori, I don't know how to say this, but, thank you. I can't believe you'd do this for me. Not- not after all I did to you... I'm really grateful this time."

A warm tingle crept up my back, rippling my spine and I shivered pleasantly. "It's fine, Jade. Don't worry about it. I like to help. Just go to sleep now."

Jade nodded rather cutely and she closed her eyes again. Her facial muscles relaxed soon after into a gentle, calm and somewhat fragile mask. Like all her thoughts and worries and sorrows were written on her skin and I promised myself I'd do everything in my power to erase them, to fix her life and make her happy. I would not be her lions pit. I'd be her sanctuary.  
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>An: well I don't know how I pulled this off but it's here. Sooner than I thought, even! Hurdurr.  
><strong>**So, I hope this chapter was satisfying. It's a bit meh in my opinion, but me and my work can never really agree. Tell me what you think in the reviews please!**

**As for the next update, I can't promise it will be this soon again. I still have exams and I really gotta stop procrastinating.**  
><strong>Hope to speak to you guys soon again, hope you enjoyed this.<strong>  
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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<br>**_=====


	5. Ch 5: My Medicine

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><strong>My Medicine<strong>  
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>Sunlight crept into the room through the narrow gap in the curtains. The sound of a distant, far-away lawnmower drifted in through the window, almost like a low hum in the back of my head, carried in by the warm breeze. My senses slowly started to dawn on me, voices from downstairs growing louder in my ear by the minute but all I wanted was to sleep, warmth dragging me back into subconsciousness. Surely it was still early in the morning, and it was a Saturday. I had no business being out of bed in the weekend.<p>

I groaned and flipped over, my body pressing up against something soft and warm. Still drunken with sleep, I frowned and tried to wriggle free, but I realized I couldn't. I slowly noticed that whatever it was, a pair of what seemed to feel like arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, and I reluctantly opened my eyes to investigate.

At first I didn't quite get why Jade was in my bed, but then the flashback hit me with the subtlety of a speeding train and I stifled a gasp, jerking as I was fully awake in an instant. How could I forget? It already seemed like ages ago and I couldn't quite recall how long I had looked at the black-haired girl's face in the night, making sure she was asleep, making sure she was safe. I'd seen the numbers on my alarm change as I had counted my own heartbeats, wondering if Jade's was somehow synchronized, hoping that she'd feel secure in the slow rhythm. As soon as I started to think about what happened the weight on my heart appeared out of nowhere again, like a lead anchor that tried to drown me at sea and I exhaled deeply.

Now that I thought about it, it was weird how much this affected me as well. It was like Jade was dragging me down with her. Of course my feelings would be nowhere near hers, but it was almost scary how much of an impact she had made. It was to be expected though: self-harm isn't easily taken. Still, it was weird to be on somewhat friendly terms, even if was just for one night.

I spent some time looking at Jade's sleeping face, crawling closer to enjoy the heat she was emitting and I was surprised that it calmed me down. The sunlight played with the shadows on her smooth skin. Full, natural red lips parted just slightly as each deep breath passed in and out like the summer breeze and after a while I found myself losing track of time. My cheeks flushed red as I caught myself and I slipped out of her comfortable grip, making my way downstairs as softly as I could. It was already pretty late, but I didn't want to wake Jade from the peaceful slumber she was in. She looked so content. I didn't want to make her come out into the horrible daydream she was living. Just not yet. If she could spend more time feeling secure then I would let her.

I sauntered down the stairs and was greeted by two pairs of worried eyes and I sighed groggily. "Good morning, mom, dad."

"Good morning, honey!" I pulled a face as my mom chirped out the words overly-happily, clasping her hands together as she put on her serious face. "Tori, we don't want to pry into any of your business, of course, but who's the girl in your bed?" I grimaced. She sure was the blunt one.

"She's- a _friend_." I said, debating on whether it was the right word. "Her name is Jade. We practiced lines for the school's new play and we- we just had a good time. It got pretty late, so I thought it was okay if she spent the night here." it was hard to lie to them since I barely ever abused the truth. "Should I have asked first?"

My dad nodded and walked away but my mother lingered. "No, then it's okay. Dad and I are going out now though, you have the house to yourself since Trina is off too." she shrugged on her jacket and her keys tinkled as she put them in her pocket. "We'll be back late. Make sure you get er, Jade something to eat when she wakes up, okay? Treat your guests well."

"Yeah, will do. Bye, mom."

I relaxed as I heard the door lock into place, eyebrows returning to their normal place. I sighed at my mom's lack of knowledge of my manners, shaking my head lightly. She ought to know better. I decided to make breakfast since I was in the kitchen anyway. There was nothing better to do, and to be fair, I was kind of hungry.

Finding my way through the kitchen was easy. I didn't cook very often, but if I had to I knew _how _to. I promptly decided to make a nice traditional breakfast with eggs and bacon. Simple to make but oh so nice to eat. My hands soon flew all over the ingredients, the sounds of sizzling eggs and pans clunking together filling my ears. I turned on the radio and the room soon swam in a lazy Saturday afternoon atmosphere and I found myself humming along to the music, prancing around in the kitchen.

Yet guilt slowly pushed its way up my throat as I thought about Jade, an unpleasant chill shaking down my spine. Here I was, being the happy cook while the girl with the broken soul was in my bed. I hadn't yet at all figured out a plan on how to destroy what was destroying Jade but I figured being sad about it wouldn't help. If anything, she needed someone strong to rely on.

As I whipped the eggs out of the pan and onto a slice of bread, I figured a positive attitude would do the trick. So I'd start right away.

I couldn't help but take a deep breath as I put some bacon into the skillet. The whole kitchen soon carried the scent of breakfast and sunny mornings and the only thing that was missing was the smell of coffee. I knew Jade likes - correction, loves - coffee so I popped the machine on as well. The radio played some good songs and I found myself dancing around in the work space.

"Smells good, Vega." I turned to the voice. A head full of dark, dishevelled curls descended the staircase, emerald eyes burning into mine and lips quirked upward in a somewhat hopeful smirk.

"Thanks!" I turned down the radio, suddenly aware of its blearing noise. "Did I wake you up?"

Jade shook her head as she yawned and stretched. The pyjama's I gave her last night were crumpled from a heavy sleep, but the stretching movement made it ride up, showing a part of her lower stomach. Pure, white, silky bare skin, lines of her hipbones just slightly visible. Shadows danced on her body, shivers crawling up my spin as she walked forward with swaying, challenging strides. How the heck was it possible to have such a smooth skin? This wasn't the first time I had noticed, no, it had struck me before that Jade seemed to be chiselled out of marble. Carved out of clay, sculpted. Sculpted with the exact precision that Michelangelo had. Every bone, every dent and every joint was placed in a way that seemed to enhance her beauty. Curves and lines stood out on the right places. Even the flaws on her forearm, every imperfection seemed to belong.

I tore my eyes off the sight as an uncomfortable blush crept up my cheeks and I shook my head to clear it. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Ah, that'd be great." she replied, a genuine smile on her face. She looked better than, let's say, roughly ten hours ago. Her eyes were still puffy and slightly red, and they still didn't hold that piece of Jade I knew, but it could've been a lot worse. It would have haunted me if they still were so empty. It was like looking into the vast expanse of a green, silent sea where a whole armada would get lost because there was no vantage point nor was there wind to sail on. It was a dead end. I shuddered at the fresh memory.

I poured her a cup of coffee and served her the first portion of breakfast. Her hands enclosed around the steaming hot cup and she put it to her lips, eyes closed for a split second as she took the smallest of sips and I was worried she might've burned her mouth, but Jade seemed unruffled. Apologizing eyes gazed at me from above the dark, aromatic liquid. "Thanks, Tori, but really, I'm not that hungry at the moment. Just coffee will do."

That was more than understandable. "Right. No problem." I took my place across her and dug into the eggs, stomach rumbling. Jade watched amusedly to the point where I started to feel slightly self-conscious. I coughed, putting the fork down. "So, how did you sleep?"

"Better than expected."

"And how do you feel now?" I hesitated, eyebrows hunching together worriedly. Jade's figure just seemed to deflate a little at the question but I couldn't say I had expected otherwise.

She shrugged, exhaling deeply. "The same, I guess. Hurt. Fucked over. Wanting to smack someone. All that stuff. The only thing that's slightly better is that my secret is out there. It's not only my burden anymore, and I'm not proud of shoving it onto your shoulders but it helps. It helps a lot." her eyes brimmed with tears as she swallowed down her pain with another sip of scorching hot coffee, drowning her problems in the darkness. "I'd absolutely refuse to say it under normal circumstances, but I owe you one, Tori."

"No, no you do not owe me," I shook my head, frowning, "You think I'm only doing this because you showed up at my doorstep and it so happens to be? Because I _pity _you and I couldn't send you off in the middle of the night? No. Jade, I'm doing this because I care. How many times do I have to make myself clear?"

Jade's lips pressed together in a hard line. "Why? God knows I've made your high school life a nightmare."

"Well, let's be honest, we've grown more into being somewhat friendly acquaintances than enemies in the past year, so I consider that as a step in the right direction. As slow as it might have been going. And I know that deep down you're not so mean. I've seen that, I've seen you, Jade West, as human being, with a broken heart and a soul and worries and feelings just like me. I know that you are, so I will care because on the inside you're hurt just as much as anyone else." I looked into Jade's eyes and they were gleaming.

"But why? You could also just walk right past me. So what, you know? Why do you care if you have to option to not care?"

I bit my bottom lip. "You need someone to take care of you, Jade. We both know that. And let's face it, you've got no one else to go to. I'm the only one who can help right now. So even if it must be me, your enemy if you may, so be it. You're still a broken girl with needs. I just cannot _not _care, okay?"

The pale-skinned girl just nodded, shoulders slumping down in defeat. She resumed to drink her coffee in silence and I sighed. I could understand her reasoning. I mean, who would've seen Jade and I sleeping together, let alone spend more than a day in each other presence? It was unnatural. But Jade knew damn well she needed the help, and she just as well knew I was the only option. There was no one else for her to turn to, so why couldn't she accept the situation and trust me with her problems? Sure, it's hard to suddenly be this close to someone you hate. I could understand. But accepting the offer of care shouldn't be too much of a big deal.

However, I did sympathize with her. It was just as weird for me to have her sitting here at my kitchen table, in my pyjamas, calmly sipping her coffee, as it must be for her. My eyes involuntarily drifted to her wrist as I was finishing my breakfast and I noticed the bandage had quite the stain on it. I frowned.

"Eh, Jade, I believe I need to change the old gauze for a bit. Would you mind?"

Uncaring eyes looked at it as if she already forgot it was there in the first place and she shrugged. "No, go ahead. I suppose it's better to let it heal in a nice and clean way."

I nodded and got the bandage from where I left it yesterday. It felt weird to touch Jade again. As my fingers gently unwrapped the old dressing I half expected her to be cold and hard and stone again, but she was still soft and vulnerable and pliable. Her skin was warm as the wounds were laid bare again and my stomach dropped. Seeing the mutilated wrist again was still shocking. I caught myself trying to make out what the scarred words said but I couldn't quite tell. It wasn't any of my business either. It would never quite be. I was only here to help. Jade and I would remain somewhat distanced. At least for now. I couldn't blame her. Not really.

As I cut off a new piece of gauze Jade seemed somehow relaxed. She watched me work as if it was interesting. I was glad that the patch of skin was covered up again so I didn't have to look at it anymore. A soft thank you exited Jade's lips as she patted the bandage and turned her wrist a few times.

"So, what's the plan for today? Want me to get the hell out of your house, I suppose?" she asked, raising one eyebrow in a taunt, leaning back in her chair.

I frowned. "No, silly. Get it through your skull that I have no intentions of not caring for you." Jade seemed to be surprised as I sat down on the table, clasping my hands together as I tried to smile encouragingly. "We'll do whatever you want. Mind you, I'm keeping you here all weekend, so you better pick something nice. You're under my watch now."

"Alright, Vega, you're in charge." the raven-haired girl puckered her lips. "I guess we could watch some movies."

"Movies it will be!" I grabbed her hands before I could stop myself and I took her with me to the living room, settling her down on the couch. She looked amused as I threw a blanket on there and gathered all of the pillows. "Got any ideas?"

"Not really, unless you own a copy of _The Scissoring_. Which, I'm guessing, you don't." Jade smirked and I was pleased to see some of her old ways return. I know I was being hopeful; she couldn't be cured of her million problems in one night. I knew that. But it was nice to see a smile on her face, even though it was slightly forced and distant. It was _something_. For now I just wanted to make her feel okay. To make her forget her troubles for just a short while. I felt like it was too early to ask and pry my way into her business, and, knowing Jade, she probably wouldn't let me in that easy. It was a miracle I could get her to talk to me last night.

I'd just have to see where the current would take me with Jade. Patience sure was going to be a key element. I could feel it. "I'm gonna have to disappoint you. I do have some other horror movies stored on my pearpad, I think. Fancy one?" I grinned as she nodded and I ran upstairs to get it, plugging it into the TV once I was downstairs again. I picked a movie Jade told me was recommendable, poured her another cup of coffee and plopped down onto the couch, legs folding up underneath me.

The movie started playing and as it proceeded I found out it was about a group of TV people that were making a horror show. They visited this old, abandoned mental hospital, planning to shoot some cool footage. It seems like a fraud at first, but soon things got out of hand. Evil spirits appeared. People died. Slowly and horribly. The usual. Yet it scared the crap out of me every time.

Being completely engulfed in the movie, I didn't notice I was practically sitting on Jade's lap until her soft laugh sounded very close all of a sudden. I could even sense her scent. It smelled like sleep and fresh linen and _Jade_. A flush coloured my cheeks as I plucked myself off her for a bit but remained glued to her side because it felt good in such a strange way. It's like she was melting into me, our bodies fitting together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle. Emerald eyes found mine now and then and I'd smile.

A scary part in the movie completely took me off-guard and I started, hands flailing into every direction as my pulse shot up.

"Damn, Vega, I didn't know you were _such _a scaredy-cat." Jade laughed as her soft, warm hand slowly enclosed around mine, giving it a small yet noticeable squeeze. "That's some serious blackmail potential right here."

"Shut up and watch the movie, West." I countered, smirking, trying to hide my obvious blush. I had no idea what she was doing to me but it felt nice. I had no idea why she didn't release my hand after a few seconds either, but I couldn't be bothered. This was emotional Jade. I bet she was just looking for some comfort. That's all.

Yet I couldn't help but to let my thumb graze her skin, caressing her hand and ever so often the bandaged wrist. I internally hoped for myself that I wouldn't make a weird habit out of it but for now it seemed to suffice. Jade didn't bite back. She didn't slap me over sideways for me touching her. She was allowing me to be close and that was all I could ask for. She was letting me into her world where only one person had been before in years and that fact alone was taking my breath away.

The movie ended all too soon and I popped on another one. We spent the whole afternoon watching them. From thrillers to action movies and on my demand - and much to Jade's dismay - a romantic comedy movie. We were acting silly and laughing and it seemed to be a good medicine. I could feel my own heart beating loudly in my chest, just waiting to break free and I didn't know why, but I hoped that somewhere inside, at some point, Jade's heart fluttered with the same confidence.

I know it did, somewhere along the way. I could see it in her eyes, just faintly. But it was there.

I cooked us some dinner though Jade barely touched it. We moved upstairs for the evening and spent it laying on my bed, listening to music and just talking. I had never been able to talk to her about normal things so it was nice. Different, but nice. Jade was even an enjoyable person behind the hard, barb-wired exterior. It just took a lot of effort to get behind the steel thorns and wash off all the intolerance and dismay that stuck to her like paint. But when it was off it was rather pleasant. It was like re-discovering her all over again and I didn't mind it one bit. Though most of her secrets were still kept behind her teeth, swallowed down and stored away, I knew that they were boiling under her surface. Bubbling up like lava, ready to pour out and burn.

It was just a matter of time until Jade would erupt.  
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>An: studying? Exams? What's that? Oops. I promise that this is the last quick update because damn I am Queen Procrastination.  
><strong>**I do hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review (:  
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><em><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<br>**_=====


	6. Ch 6: Get Through This

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><strong>Get Through This<br>**=====

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>It sure was an unfamiliar feel to drive Jade to school and have her not throwing insults at my head.<p>

Clenching my hands around the steering wheel, I breathed out. Unfamiliar wasn't quite the right word. Neither was awkward or strange. Having this sudden bond with the raven-haired girl, that balanced on a thin line somewhere between friendship and hate, was just _different_. Not weird or uncomfortable, just different. In a welcoming way.

The rest of the weekend had gone by slowly but smoothly. Jade and I had about completed viewing my whole movie collection, crawling into bed late at night to keep cosy and warm while the pearpad ran overtime. Minutes turned into centuries as we had been lying there. I had not forced her into telling me anything about herself. I didn't want to break the calm spell I had her under at the moment, although the tension was palpable between us. I could feel the desperation in her words, her paper-thin verbs; it was rumbling in her chest.

I could even feel it now as she gazed out of the car window, eyes remote and glazy. Jade tried her best to hide it because she wasn't one of words, and for that matter trust. Trust is Jade's biggest issue, causing her heart to be welded shut. I didn't know who had ever abused it but I'd have to deal with it, and that was okay.

Hollywood Arts doomed up in vision earlier than I expected and I pulled up the parking lot, unbuckling. I wanted to let go of the gear lever but Jade pushed it back down, cold steel against my palm and her warm hand on top. Her green eyes pried into mine and I frowned, turning my hand to hold hers. "You gonna be okay? You could just call in sick or something, you know that right?"

"You're here, Tori. That's all I can ask for. Besides, I've always been okay, haven't I?" she says, shrugging. I flush red, flattered. "I've done this for longer than you know. I'll be fine."

I nodded and got out of the car, walking into school with Jade. I didn't notice her sneaking off to the side of the building so I continued to talk to air while packing my books out of my locker until I finally turned around, facing a nervous first-year who was looking at me like I had gone insane. I raised one eyebrow, scanning the area. I was sure she went inside with me. She wasn't at her own locker either and she couldn't have vanished into thin air. No one ever overlooked Jade, she was hard to miss with black and emerald and her aura of aggravation.

Striding off to the entrance, I figured she might've forgotten something in the car. But, throwing one quick glance at it from afar, I saw she wasn't there either. I frowned. Since when had she developed ninja skills? Just as I was about to head for class, the foul scent of smoke caught me. Woe betide Jade if I spot her smoking this time again. She can be sure as heck that I will take her cigarettes and annihilate them in front of her face. They are equally destructive for her and I had promised myself to rid her of everything that hurt her.

Her bent figure hid behind the corner, back facing me. One wouldn't know what she was doing if the obvious cloud of smoke wasn't around her. My eyebrows dropped, serious lines creasing my forehead and I walked over to Jade. "First things first, Jade." I began, starting her. She turned around with big eyes, unsuccessfully trying to hide the burning cancer stick behind her back but I could see the orange end lighting up. "The cigarettes need to go. If you want to feel better, you need to take care of yourself. And pumping nicotine through your bloodstream is _not _taking care of yourself."

"Tori, come on. These things calm me down, don't take them from me." Jade protested, taking a big drag.

"You can't tell me you actually _like_them. They're not good for you, so I need you to stop smoking. Both for your future career and your own health."

The pale-skinned girl took another drag, blowing the smoke up with an arched back and puckered lips. I sighed and walked over to her, snatching the cigarette out of her hands, snapping the thing in two pieces. Déjà vu much? "I'm being serious. You know it's bad for you. Do it for me? Please?"

"Fine." green eyes rolled in their sockets and I smiled sweetly, holding up my hand, waiting.

Jade's eyes narrowed to dark, shady slits. Anger roared behind them like a firestorm as her eyebrows plunged down to crease her brow in a million lines. Slowly Jade reached for her Gears of War bag, taking an eternity to fish out the full pack of toxins, reluctantly smashing it into my open hand. "Ugh, you better be right, Vega."

"Trust me. Now come on, class is about to start."

We headed inside, the bell ringing as we plopped down on our seats in Sikowitz's classroom. It was somehow difficult to let Jade sit in the back of the class, nowhere near me. She'd been so close - as close as we'd ever been, that is - for the past few days that it was weird to suddenly be apart. But we'd always been, right? We'd deal with it.

Sikowitz wanted us to practice the play in his lesson. I'd forgotten all my lines because of the commotion in the weekend and I made a fool of myself. I could laugh about it, though. It was a nice lesson for everyone. We enacted two or three scenes, one with Jade and I - the one we did at my place - and one with André and Cat, who were the captains on one of the ships and were also falling in love. It was endearing to see Cat lose herself in her role and see André just casually, if not somewhat awkwardly, play along. Acting wasn't really his forte.

It seemed like Sikowitz was pleased at the end of class. He did tell us to practice more and I had the feeling Jade and I were actually the only ones who had put effort in it at all. But the play date was months away, we would all have enough time to make it work and make it perfect.

The remainder of the day flew by. I lost track of Jade in time, but it didn't matter. I knew I'd see her after school again and that was okay. And when I _did_see Jade, snarly laughter and sarcasm rolled from her lips like the good old Jade West and it was hard to see if she was pretending. It was scary to think she was because it looked so real. Her credibility was amazing and I wondered how many more people in the school were putting up a façade, hiding their real selves from the world. I think I'd be blown away.

At the end of the school day I put my books in my locker, suppressing a yawn from ripping apart my facial muscles. I saw Beck walk over to me from the corner of my eye.

"Hey, Beck!" I turned to him, smiling.

"Tori, hey. Can I talk to you for a minute?" he grabbed my arm gently, his eyebrows hunched over his dark, turbulent eyes as he raked his hand through his hair. He seemed on edge, his figure appearing small, hidden and not so cool and laidback anymore. In fact, he seemed rather defeated.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worry kicking in. "What's up?"

He let out a low sigh as his hands fell hopelessly at his side. "It's Jade. She has been avoiding me all day, and I don't know what's up." this was the first time Beck ever cut to the chase. "She won't look at me, she won't talk to me. She wouldn't even listen to what I had to say to her a few minutes ago. She just walked away, pissed off. And to be honest, I don't know what to do."

My sympathy for Beck wasn't easily kindled this time. Not since Jade told me things have been going rough between them. Sure, I didn't know what was up, but Jade had been so mysterious it could be anything, the worst case scenario. Love isn't something to be fooled with, and for all I know Beck had been up for a play. I sighed and bit my lip, looking down, beginning to feel like some sort of venting point.

I liked the ability to help people, don't get me wrong. To take them in and make sure that in the end they're taught something new, something better and feel good. But this started to go full on a little bit too quickly. "How are things between you and Jade lately? Is this just today or has this been going on for a while?"

"I don't know. Maybe a week or so, maybe more." he mumbled, his answer merely a breath escaping his lips as his eyebrows hunched together guiltily. A few weeks? How come he hasn't taken some action into getting his _girlfriend _back to be with him? "I really don't know, we're having a bit of a hard time."

I raised my eyebrow in apprehension, ushering him into telling me more. "Hard time? Like how? What happened?"

"Well... we've sort of been ignoring each other. Jade's been all pissy and hard to get to all week. First I thought it was just that time of the month again, but that doesn't last this long. Something is up with her, and I want to fix it, but I don't know how." Beck answered, shrugging in dejection. His eyes were hard to read, however. They held something I could not decipher.

"Are you sure you didn't do something wrong? Something to piss her off in the first place? Girls always have some reasoning behind their actions, whether you're the one to remember it or not."

An uncomfortable feeling slowly filled my head, crawling up my spine like a tarantula stalking towards its prey, biting down and numbing my body completely, making me sick to my stomach. What if Beck was the reason behind Jade's self harm? What if he had hurt her so much she fell into depression? I wouldn't know what he would have done to her, but just what if? I swallowed hard.

"I don't know. I didn't do anything bad for as far as I can remember. Not deliberately, that is." Beck hesitated, words getting caught behind his tongue and lingering. I frowned, the sickening feeling returning and I had to bite it back, not wanting to drown myself in the danger of assumption. I didn't want to confirm my sudden suspicions just because he _stammered_. That meant nothing. I couldn't even confirm them. I couldn't see good old Beck doing harm to anyone. He was a peacekeeper. A young man of calmth and ease, not one of malice.

"Then I suggest you think about it a little more and try to fix things on your own. I'd help you but Jade and I aren't really on the same page, as you know."

"Yeah, I know." the boy nodded, adverting his eyes. "I guess."

Beck looked sad. I've never really seen him look so defeated and upset before. I bit my lip and hoisted my bag up my shoulder, leaning against the lockers at my right side. I sighed, looking the dark-haired boy in the eye. "It's gonna be fine, Beck. Jade will come around, don't worry, okay?"

He thanked me softly and strode off, army boots skidding over the floor as he shuffled away. Poor Beck. He really did seem slightly overwhelmed with the whole situation. Which was weird, because Jade and he were known to have the occasional _argument_, if you may. You'd think the brown-haired boy had gotten used to this sort of situations and that he knew how to solve them. I mean, he'd done it before, hadn't he? I shrugged off the thought. It was probably just something silly.

Just seconds later Jade appeared out of nowhere, catching me off-guard. For a moment I wasn't sure if I should tell her what Beck had told me. If anything, what happens or doesn't happen between them isn't any of my business. But neither would Jade tell me anything from her own initiative. So I just stood there, wordless for a few seconds and Jade snorted. "Cat got your tongue, Vega?"

"Oh! No, I was just thinking what we're going to do today." I quickly regained my composure. "Do you want me to drive you home or do you wanna hang out?"

She shrugged, black and blue hair cascading down her shoulders. Her eyes refused to look into mine as she licked her lips with the tip of her tongue, pondering about the options in silence. "You know, I don't really care. We could practice lines again, since Sikowitz was being such a dipwad about it." she smirked. Jade liked to insult Sikowitz. She liked how he was scared of her.

"Sure thing. Are you staying over for dinner?"

Jade's eyes twinkled as her lips curled into a rather cute yet challenging smile. "Tori, don't over-exaggerate."  
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>An: okay I know this is really short but I will have to do. I couldn't possibly make it longer, got all the essentials in there.  
><strong>**Once again, I am updating this when I really shouldn't. Expect the next update to be here slightly later, since my exams start on Monday ):**

**And don't worry guys, the real Jori is coming up. It's in the making. Hold your panties.**

**I also want to thank everyone for reading this fiction. I love reading your reviews, they make my day! It pleases me to see I do well.**  
><strong>So please leave a review if you liked it! Make my day! (:<br>**=====

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>An: I do not own Victorious  
><strong>_=====


	7. Ch 7: Battlefield

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><strong>Battlefield<br>**=====

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>"Marshall? Marshall Lee? Is- is that <em>you<em>?"

I nodded, quickly flashing my gaze down on the script, swallowing. "Hey there, Evelyn. Long time no see, don't you think?" I made a mental note not to gaze too deeply into Jade's eyes anymore. They took away my concentration way too much. Concentration that I very much needed at this point. I could basically feel Sikowitz's eyes pierce a hole into the side of my head.

Rehearsal sucked. We basically all sucked. It seemed as if no one had practiced any of their lines in the last week and a half. Lines and dialogues were half-hearted and the acting skills were really hard to find. Even I had a hard time remembering and finding my lines, even though I practiced with Jade a lot. It was weird that we sucked so much because our class usually came alive during acting. We all had a bit of a knack for it. Sikowitz used to be able to be proud of us. Now it seemed like he lost every reason to.

His brow was creased with lines but his expression was ever so blank. I was sure it was like the silence before the storm.

"Why are you here? You know we can't see each other, Marshall." Jade's voice droned in my ear and I shook my head, focusing. "We can't. I want to but we can't. We're enemies." her eyebrows plunged deeply down over her eyes and I had to remind myself that she had a role to play and that this was not Jade.

It was hard not to fall back into my protective role. "We are enemies? I think you mean that our countries are enemies. Our countries' views and opinions have nothing to do with the feelings we feel for ourselves. This petty rivalry can't be connected to us as individuals. We never were enemies, Evelyn, and we aren't now. You know that."

The pale-skinned girl took a step closer, expression apprehensive. "But we- I don't- how can you come running back _now_? After all this time?"

Jade and I had been pretty much inseparable for the last week or so. She'd often sleep over. We'd do homework together, we would watch movies and laugh and talk like we'd never hated each other. Like she'd never been mean to me, as if we never were enemies. It was as if we were friends all along. I frowned, shaking my head. "After all this time? I've been looking for you ever since I left you. I realized I couldn't get out in the real world without you, but when I got back to the orphanage you were gone without a trace. Why did you go away?"

"I-I went out to look for you." Jade - or rather Evelyn - said, casting her eyes down. "I never thought you'd come back."

My eyes shifted, searching for hers, and I took a few quick steps towards the black-haired girl. "Evelyn. I promised, didn't I? I never break my promises." Jade looked up, emerald eyes burning into mine and a red blush quickly adorned my cheeks. "You should have known that."

"Promised, huh..."

Yeah, a promise. My mind flew back to a few days ago when Jade had promised me, after a long period of persuasion, eating ice cream and death threats, that she would stop harming herself. She had insisted on _trying_ _to _first but I would not agree with that until she had sworn to me she'd quit altogether. She had looked reluctant, almost defeated, and she told me that she was just going to let me down in the end. That she wasn't strong enough and would relapse eventually. I had taken her hands in mine and told her I didn't believe her.

I didn't believe her because in these past week I have come to known her so much more. Jade West is a whole different person to me now. She lets me be close, laughs, smiles and cries, has feelings and a heart just like me. She lets me touch her and have a connection, something that binds us though I don't yet know what. Jade West is so much more than I ever dared to imagine and I was thrilled with the fact that I could have her treasure all for myself. I found myself indulging in her presence but I couldn't care less.

Sure, a week wasn't much. It was hardly enough time to judge anyone in. But Jade West was mine now and I loved every minute I spent by her side.

"Don't you remember? The day I left I told you that I would, someday, be back."

Jade hadn't told me much about her problems just yet. I still wasn't forcing her to blab either. The promise she made and the time we were together was more than enough to compromise. As long as she was feeling okay and happy, I would be too. There was no need to rush anything, it's common sense that rushing make things worse in the end.

"I never broke that promise." I threw the script down and walked over to the raven-haired girl, body trembling as I closed the gap between us. I needed to chill out. It was just rehearsal.

Our hands locked together before I knew it and in that moment I felt the strong connection I had felt while being with her all these days and it knocked me off my feet. Brown met green and my heart just exploded. Jade felt so pure in my hands and I felt so at place that it was almost frightening. Fingertips grazed her smooth skin. I took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay, Marshall." Jade whispered warmly against my lips, her soft voice drenched in sympathy and she pulled me impossibly closer. My pulse rocketed. I wasn't sure if this was in the script.

I had difficulty speaking, words too heavy to carry past my lips. "E-Evelyn, I- I love you. Always have."

"I love you too." it was hard to breathe, my knees felt weak, heart on the point of collapsing. My body shook as I gulped away all the jittery, nervous feelings that were threatening to leave my throat. Jade's eyes flickered down to my lips once and back again, mouth curling into a crooked, toothy smirk. I suddenly felt drawn towards her, like gravity had just decided to change owner, and I couldn't quite figure out what galaxy I was in. Surrender swirled in the pale-skinned girl's smokey eyes and I realized we were merely inches apart. Was this supposed to happen?

Moreover, was I supposed to feel this way? So... _captivated_? So full of desire? I guiltily admitted I had felt like this all week, but I figured it was because Jade and I were on a whole other level now. We re-discovered each other and we were ought to feel happy about that. That's what happens, right?

"Beck!" Sikowitz voice suddenly rumbled loudly through the auditorium, starting the poor guy. "This is your cue!"

I felt sort of glad to have a reason to jump away from Jade. Picking up my script, I fiddled with the pages, trying to calm myself down as Sikowitz rambled on. "Why were you not paying attention? I know, Jade and Tori's performance was great! Easily to capture one's attention with. But you should know when to get in." he narrowed his eyes. "What is wrong with you all today?"

He looked around the class and I followed his gaze. Andre shrugged. Cat looked down in shame, clutching the hem of her skirt. Beck just sat lazily in his chair, biting his lower lip. Even Rex was quiet without Robbie having to shut him up. "Well?" Sikowitz pressed.

Beck shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we're all a bit off today."

Sikowitz nodded in agreement, his eyebrows hunched deeply over his eyes as he took a long, thoughtful sip of coconut milk. "Alright then." his eyes scanned his wristwatch, which was ''conveniently'' placed upside down, and pursed his lips. "I guess it can't be helped. Go home, young ones. I've got nothing to brainwash you with anymore. Let's call it a day."

No one let themselves be told that twice. Chairs scraped over the floor loudly as everyone nearly bolted out of the classroom, afraid Sikowitz would change his mind. I raked my hand through my hair as I watched them leave, Jade and I trailing behind. She caught my gaze.

"Together again, hey, Vega?" her fist collided with my shoulder playfully. "So what do you wanna do?"

"I'm up for anything. I've got one question though. Shouldn't you maybe spend some time with Beck? You haven't seen him in ages." I frowned as we walked out of the classroom. I didn't _want_her to spend time with Beck, I was more than fine with her being together with me, but I was worried about their relationship.

But Jade shook her head. "Naw. He'll be fine."

I tried to go into discussion with the black-haired girl about the subject, but she threatened to strangle me slowly if I wouldn't drive her to my house to hang out, so I eventually gave up. It was clear she didn't want to be around Beck, but to me that seemed like she was putting their problems on hold. But anything to satisfy Jade, right?

So I was in my car before I knew it, absentmindedly driving to my house. We both didn't feel like homework or watching movies. Besides, we had about seen every movie that was out by now. However, we couldn't quite decided what to do instead. Jade insisted on going to library to read books about torture in the Dark Ages, but I very much resented that idea, shivering in my car seat at the idea alone. I needed something more _fun_. We were almost home when an idea popped into my head.

"Oh! I know where we could go!" I said, clapping in my hands as an enormous smile made its way onto my face. "The Army Museum!"

Jade turned around in the car seat, eyebrows raised in question. "Really? You want to do something fun and you decided to take me to the Army Museum? How is that fun?"

"It's nice!" streetlights turned green and I drove around the corner, my mind instantly thinking up the fastest route to the museum. "I went there loads of times when I was a kid, my granddad used to take me there with Trina. You know, he had his suit from the Marines hanging there in some display." I felt my enthusiasm bubbling up.

"That suuure is interesting."

I sighed, letting go of the gear lever to playfully punch Jade's shoulder. "Hey! You decided to watch some scary, horrible documentary yesterday, now it's my turn to choose. And I say were are going to the Army Museum. Whether miss West likes it or not." I grinned when the pale-skinned girl tried to protest. She growled but then agreed reluctantly.

The ride wasn't long, the Army Museum was about fifteen minutes away from school. I knew how to go there with my eyes closed. That, and traffic was easy so we pulled up into the parking lot soon, locking the door as I skipped inside, not being able to contain my excitement. Jade sauntered lazily behind, fingers trailing over the stuff in the gift shop as I got us tickets.

Nostalgia slowly crept in my heart as we took the route through the museum. The usual exposition began with the Romans and the Greek, followed by the Middle Ages and so on. I could picture myself running along the displays, pointing my little fingers at the figures and weapons, granddad in pursuit with Trina. I smiled, my mind taking me back to years and years ago. I had to admit that I secretly had a big admiration for weaponry, but I would never let anyone know. I thought Jade maybe would have too, but as I stole a glance next to me every now and then, she just looked bored.

I was frantically trying to think of something more fun when a sign that said ''Warzone Simulation'' popped into my vision. I raised my eyebrows. That hadn't been here the last time I visited. Then again, the last time was probably about six years ago. A smile made its way up my face. This could be fun.

So I led Jade there. I thought she was fine with the idea until the actual _thing _showed up.

"Oh no." feet stood nailed into the ground suddenly. "Oh hell no, I am not going into that shit. I'd rather be found dead in Disneyland." Jade protested when she saw the structure dooming up into her vision, visibly backing off as a grimace slowly crept onto her face. "No way. Hear that, Vega?"

I could only laugh. I had heard these protests before. I'd heard them every time I popped on a movie that was ''sickeningly sweet'' or ''full of drama and bullshit'', but every time those words passed her lips she ended up swallowing them back. In the end Jade never complained about anything she claimed to hate. Maybe it was because she was just tolerating it and trying to act cool, but I found it a more pleasant idea to believe that she was actually enjoying herself with those things.

"This is _my _day, Jade." I winked at her. "Today I decide the rules. Those rules now say you gotta do this."

"I understand your rules and all, Tori. I really do. But I don't want to go in there and make a complete fool out of myself, thank you very much." protest and frustration danced on her voice and I could already feel her caving in, because there was no way I wouldn't drag her into this. She was coming and she would enjoy it.

Letting out a sigh, I clamped myself around her arm, looking up pleadingly. "Please? Just this once. You know you want to."

"Fine." Jade groaned, letting herself be escorted towards the obstacle course. I got really excited as I saw a box full of fake guns, helmets and army backpacks. I let go of the pale-skinned girl and got over to the boxes, putting a helmet on my head and grabbing a gun first thing. I turned around to Jade and saluted, wide grin on my face as I did a little dance out of enthusiasm. I realized I must've looked like a total idiot, but I couldn't care less at the moment. All I wanted was to see one tiny little smile on Jade's face.

"Holy hell, Vega, don't get your panties in a pretzel." Jade laughed, a challenging smirk playing on her lips as her verdant eyes followed my bouncing figure.

I pouted. "C'mon Jade, it'll be fun!"

She sighed and rolled her eyes at me, but reached out to grab a helmet anyway. Truth be told, Jade looked awesome with the war stuff on. The kind of like, gorgeous-awesome. Her face was dark and hidden, yet pretty in the dim light. But that aside, I was pretty excited. I couldn't control my giggles as I trotted around like a little girl on too much sugar. We grabbed a backpack out of the box as well, having trouble squeezing our arms through the miniscule straps. Parents shot us weird, annoyed glances as we walked around in the children's gear, but I didn't even care.

After we got the ''briefing mission'' in the starting barracks - we had to find six hidden symbols that each represented a number to defuse a bomb - we counted down and then I opened the doors with the press of a gigantic red button. I ran forward into the mock warzone, Jade trailing behind, disinterest practically emanating from her figure. Smoke enveloped my body and I could barely even see. Loud gun sounds and screams nearly made me deaf and I wondered how this was ever suited for kids anyway.

But I had to stay in character. I was having way too much fun. I ran back and grabbed Jade's hand, tugging her along with me. I smacked back-first into a wall, holding up my gun as I peeked around the corner and I made some hand signals. "Coast is clear, West. Go, go, go!"

Jade groaned loudly, yet she grabbed the gun with both hands and jumped around the corner, shooting the target in front of her.

I swiftly made my way around her, leading the way. Staying low, I scooted past the open area and kicked in the door of the little, what was supposed to be bombarded house. The door nearly crashed out of its hinges and I laughed, buckling over as I entered the shelter. The noise was blaring way less here and it was a welcome change. Jade entered after me, a serious look on her face as she hid behind the crooked door. "Captain Vega! How many numbers do we have?"

"I don't know, West." I tried to pull a poker face but the joy seeped through my voice so much that it wavered. "Sarge told me they'd have to be around somewhere."

"Roger that." she pushed herself off the door and searched the house, the ammo boxes that were stored randomly across the room and underneath some of the rubble. I looked through the stuff on the other side of the room and it wasn't long until I spotted the first symbol - an explosive sign - and the number four. I turned around on my heels. "West! It's four! Screw that in your mind!"

Jade jumped into a salute, shouting. "Sir-eh, m'am! Yes m'am!"

I was ungraciously bellowing as we exited the house, legs too weak of laughter to actually run. Rounding a corner, I dropped down on one knee and shot a target, making the way free for Jade, who spurted past me, skidded around the corner and dove face-first into a fake bush. I snorted rather un-ladylike and proceeded to make my way through the smoke-infested area and dive into the plant too, right next to the raven-haired girl. I steadied myself on my elbows. "Whatcha got, private?"

Her face emerged out of the bush real close to mine and my heart skipped a beat. "Number seven! ...Wait-" her mouth twisted into a pout. "I'm only a private?"

I smiled sweetly and got up out of the bush, charging forward to the next stop. I heard Jade pluck herself off the shrub and pursuit me. Her voice was hinted with laughter as she caught up, grabbed my wrist with extraordinarily warm hands and turned me around in mid-run. "Cap'n! Why am I only a private?"

My eyes trailed all over her face as the words slowly lodged themselves in my head. I couldn't focus. I couldn't think. Shivers raked my spine as Jade moved her hands around my waist, pulling me against her hips and I gasped. The feeling I had earlier in Sikowitz's class came rushing back to me. It was hard to breathe all of a sudden.

Beautiful emerald eyes burned into mine, friendly fire for once flaring behind them, and for a moment I didn't know what to do.

Jade's gaze was captivating and I just stood nailed to the ground. Then I leaned forward and gave Jade a kiss on the cheek. I almost broke my cool act pulling back, wanting to apologize for what I did, but the pale-skinned girl remained blissfully silent so I bit the sorries back. "_My _rules, remember?"

I skipped off, heart breaking out of my ribcage, not getting the foolish grin off my face. I tried to ignore the tingles that made their way all over my body. I brushed it off as excitement for the game we were playing. It was nothing more, nothing less. Yet deep down I knew I was wrong. I just didn't know why. I just knew. Jade was finding a new way of getting to me and this time it was not by insults and pranks, no. No, it was by doing something far more deeper that I could not yet identify.

"Yes _m'am_." Jade replied slowly, words rolling past her lips as if she was tasting them, and I could practically hear the smirk dripping from her voice.

We completed the course not much later, not being able to defuse the ''bomb'' in time because we were fooling around. I managed to break one of the targets and Jade somehow had gotten her foot stuck behind a box and fell stretched out onto the ground. We were nearly crawling over the floor with laughter by the time we got to the exit.

Getting there, staff was waiting for us. I put up my big, innocent puppy eyes as Jade tried to talk us out of it, which worked, magically.

I offered to buy some coffee for her on my treat, for all the fun and for her tricks she played to advert the staff-crisis. I couldn't believe I just had such a good time with Jade. She had laughed and played along and made a fool of herself. She looked happy. No matter all the days I had already spent with the ''new'' Jade, it still amazed me. I smiled as we were standing in the line of the little restaurant. I was absentmindedly deciding what cupcake to get. They all looked so delicious.

"Tori?"

I turned around, smiling. "Yeah?"

Jade looked down, a very light blush on her cheeks. My smile broadened; it was a rare sight to see her embarrassed or being humble. "I will lynch you if you tell this to anyone, and I will forever deny it, but I had a lot of fun today. I haven't felt like this in quite a while. It's actually the first time I liked going to a museum."

"Really? Why's that? Don't tell me this is like, your second museum visit _ever_."

"No, no, it's not like that." she shrugged, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "It's just that, whenever my parents took me somewhere, they were either fighting or on the phone, busy with work. I was left to enjoy myself, and that's something I'm kind of lousy at." Jade's eyes pried into mine and I could see the truth in them. "I always ended up either harassing some other kids or simply strutting out of the place with my parents not knowing where I was." she paused for a little bit. I gave her a reassuring nod.

"They'd only ever find me after an hour or two. They didn't even give a damn where I was or what I was doing. I could be dead for all they knew, they wouldn't care."

I paid the cashier, nearly dropping the money as Jade confessed. We quickly got our order and got to a table, plopping down on the seats opposite of each other. Jade took a sip of steaming hot coffee first before continuing. "I don't think they even care now. All they ever do is get mad at me, with or without reason. I guess I'm the scapegoat, in some way."

"I got used to it. I thought maybe my friends would take me to do fun things, but I found myself not able to enjoy them. My experiences from my childhood were so bad that I can't push them away in what I do now. I wanted to enjoy though, but I couldn't." she shrugged, black and blue hair rippling down her shoulders, friendly eyes slowly settling on mine. "So they stopped taking me to events altogether. I was no fun anyway, right? And as for Beck... let's just say he's always up for _other _stuff."

Jade waited expectantly for me to reply, red lips curling into a smile above her coffee cup and I cursed my inability to speak at that moment. I was just so overrun with the things she'd said. It was like the revelation I was waiting for all along, like a dark secret from old times that had been found while thinking it was long gone and dead. Jade West wasn't a mean person by default.

"Wow, Jade, I- I never knew." what an intelligent thing to say.

The pale-skinned girl waved her hand, dismissing me. "It's okay. Like I said, I'm used to it. Sure, sometimes I still think that maybe things could have been better, but that's always the case, isn't it? Everything could be better. But it's not like anything is going to change now anyway. It's said and done."

Silence returned and a deep breath shook my lungs. I lacked real words to say. "Thanks."

"What for?" Jade's eyebrows crunched above her eyes in question, the dark coffee that she was glancing from in brilliant contrast with the verdant in her mysterious eyes.

"For telling me this." I shrugged, feeling a warm blush work its way up my cheeks. It sounded silly but I meant every word. "Really, it means a lot to me, and I want you to know that you can trust me. I'll be here, you know that, right? For everything. You can talk whatever and whenever."

"Don't expect more, Vega." Jade smirked, mock anger in her voice. Eyes swerved, staring out the window and I caught myself staring. I couldn't even care, it all didn't matter what I knew about her and what I didn't. It would come in time. All I knew was that I hadn't felt so good, so light-hearted, so appreciated and _warm _in forever. I felt like I could take on the world if Jade wanted me to.  
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>An: mehmehmeh. I don't even know what this chapter is. Tell me if it's good or not please because I don't know anymoar D:**

**The actual event of the Army Museum is based on an actual museum near my house where I went with my ex-girlfriend, who was my girlfriend to be back then. It was kind of a big thing back then for me because that's when we actually really started to show our mutual crush... so I figured it'd be nice to let that happen in the fic too (:**

**Read&review please! I'd appreciate it (:  
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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<strong>_  
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	8. Ch 8: Cheater, Cheater

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><strong>Cheater, Cheater<br>**=====

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>I decided to give Jade a call the next day. It was weekend again and I wasn't looking forward to making homework in the least. The nerves somehow whistled through my throat as I talked to her because I'd never really spoken to her on the phone. Her voice had long lost the harsh edge it always carried towards me, yet it was weird to hear her through the receiver. I never really liked to make phone calls. I'd rather see someone's face when I talk to them. Expression says so much more.<p>

Not getting the smile off my face as I once again exclaimed how much fun I had with her yesterday, I asked her if she wanted to hang out for a bit.

To be fair, I was a little bit disappointed when she said that she couldn't make it. That wasn't a big deal; she wasn't obligated to chill with me _all _the time - though that would be nice. No, it wasn't a big deal at all. Yet I couldn't help but hunch my eyebrows as Jade told me she was going over to Beck.

A simple ''oh'' was all I could choke out at that moment, recovering myself a split-second after that. "Why so? Are you going to try and fix things with him?"

"Yeah, I guess. I can't ignore him anymore, Tori, it's just not fair," Jade said, her voice buzzing in my ear. She hesitated, a small stutter in her voice giving away her pause. "He _is_my boyfriend. I can't go on and treat him like he isn't. This is different from the fights we had before and I need to rectify whatever is going on."

I nodded but then realized I was on the phone. My voice was raspy and I had no idea why an empty disappointment was settling itself in the pit of my stomach, burning like a bright flame, scorching my insides. It hurt to listen to her words. It hurt and I had no idea why. "That's good. You should. I think you both deserve an explanation about what is bothering you. It'll be good for you."

"Well, let's not expect too much."

She hung up on me after I wished her luck. I told her she could text me or call me whenever things went wrong, or not. Just to keep me posted. I'd be damned if I'd let myself zone out of this situation. Since I've been hanging out with Jade I've felt more like I belong with her in a way that I want to know what's going on in her life. I feel like her problems are mine now too. In a way, they are. And this thing with Beck qualifies as a problem. Not that he was problematical in attitude towards Jade, but the whole situation opposed to me as a threat to Jade's happiness.

I realized I didn't like the idea of the pale-skinned girl visiting Beck. In his RV, probably. Away from curious eyes, alone and- what was I even thinking?

I clutched the pearphone in my hand, staring at it as if I could change anything about this. I told myself that nothing bad was going to happen, just to ease the lurching feeling in my belly. Beck and Jade can both take care of themselves. I smiled to myself. If not, then Jade would surely kick his ass.

My feeling of duty regarding school washed over me as I sat there for a few moments and I decided I'd make some homework anyway. After all, it wasn't going to write itself.

As I ploughed my way through the pile of work I had to do, I found myself easily distracted. The sun was shining warmly on my back through the open balcony doors. Birds were chirping and kid's laughter was brought in the room by the breeze. Soon my eyelids drooped down, a welcoming dark salvaging me from music sheets and lyrical beats. Every now and then I'd start, awake.

But when I did stray off to slumber my head was filled with Jade.

My visions, my short day-dreams were full of her smile, the brilliant deep emerald of her eyes, the sharp knit of her eyebrows; a whole world occupied by the girl unfolded behind closed eyelids. I found my lips quirking upward in a small grin as I slid back into temporary subconsciousness. I couldn't say I disliked it.

I wondered deeply why I kept thinking about the black-haired girl, though. Of course, she'd been on my mind a lot because of what we were going through together, but I couldn't connect that to my sudden _obsession _with Jade. Honestly, everywhere I went, everything I did reminded me of her. Shaking my head, I gripped my pencil tighter. I had to _stop _thinking about Jade. This wasn't going to help me and my grades in any way. But again, I couldn't help but let my mind wander off to more pleasant subjects as I stared hopelessly at my homework.

It went on and on, and I hadn't done anything productive about two hours in.

Growing frustrated, I decided to make some coffee. I never really liked it, but figuring it kept Jade sharp like a tigress on the prowl made me reconsider.

The machine was simmering soon, the smell of the dark, aromatic coffee beans wafting through the kitchen. Whilst I was waiting for the drink to finish, I leaned against the counter and checked my pearphone, even though I knew it was uncalled for. Jade hadn't texted me yet. I knew I was worrying about nothing, yet the ember that was glowing anxiously in my heart wouldn't disappear.

Raking my hand through my hair, I tucked the phone back in my pocket and assured myself that things would be okay.

I got my coffee - deciding to put some sugar and milk in it when my pallet died from bitterness on the first taste - and sat behind my desk with a fresh mindset. I cracked my knuckles, picked up my pencil again and took a deep breath. I was ready to tackle some assignments. Sure enough, after a few minutes, that hope was crushed. Looking down at my notebook, I realized I had been doodling all over the pages. Doodling is okay, don't get me wrong - but not when they are all sketches of one and the same thing; Jade.

I ignored the huge blush that crept up my cheeks as I tore the pages out and crumpled them, not willing to admit to myself that this was not a normal thing to do. The one, obvious explanation lodged itself in my mind but I refused to believe myself. I exhaled. I would not give in to such guilty feelings.

Because, after all, I couldn't be in love with Jade, could I?

That's silly. Absolutely silly. The thought alone made me laugh - I would just disregard the fact that it was a nervous, insecure and dishonest chuckle. Yet there were bells going off in my head as if I'd just won the lottery, hit the obvious jackpot; as if my mind was trying to tell me _there you go, you dense moron, you know you like her_.

Going through the facts in my head, I came to the conclusion that just maybe I did like Jade. A little. Maybe. Somewhere, in the back of my mind. I mean, it would only be a logical consequence of our sudden friendship; I'm known to mix feelings of being friends with something more. But somehow, this was different.

Jade was different. We shared so much more than I did with anyone else that I had laid myself bare for any kind of influence coming from, including falling in love.

How could it have gone so quickly though? I'd been hanging out with her for a little over two weeks now, that was barely enough time to get to know someone and slowly acknowledge that maybe you want that person to be at your side for longer. Then again, I never denied the existence of love at first sight. My eyebrows hunched deeply over my eyes as I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, so deep in thought that I nearly misplaced my butt and fell on the ground, barely catching myself in time.

I thought about it some more. Me, being in love with Jade. Simple reasoning made the idea seem not so silly anymore.

I loved to spend time with her. I wanted to protect her, be with her. I loved to discover new things about her, text with her about random things, I loved to her hear laugh and her eyes and her _being_; I basically loved everything that revolved around Jade. My cheeks were burning red as I couldn't avoid it anymore. Maybe I really was in love with Jade.

It scared me, but I was open to anything. One can never know what will happen, right?

My coffee had gone stone cold when I picked it up again and I realized I had wasted more time than I thought I had. My eyes flickered to my wristwatch, cursing quietly as I realized it was nearly dinnertime already. Not that I was hungry, but my unfinished homework was still waiting for me on my desk. I growled, rolling my eyes. I was _so _not in the mood.

Somehow, I managed to get through half of it before I found myself colliding head-first with my desk, exhausted as hell.  
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>I had hit the sack early, trying to put my mind to rest, to hide my feelings, if only temporary. But surely, that didn't have a lot of effect.<p>

I didn't dare to admit that I dreamt about Jade that night, and that the dream was rather delightful. My subconsciousness was seemingly boiling over with feelings about Jade that I repressed during the day so they come out at night to throw a little party in my head. Pale skin, emerald eyes and a wonderful, toothy smirk; they all released a rampage of butterflies in my stomach, even in my state of being half asleep and dreaming. I knew, somewhere deep inside that my heart and head were right but I couldn't quite come to terms with it when I was awake.

It was around two in the night when my phone decided to go berserk. I was lucky enough to have put it on silent mode but the buzzing nearly gave me a heart attack - why again did I leave my phone next to my pillow? Squinting, the pearphone slipped into my hand, cold metal against my warm skin. I tucked it against my ear without checking who was calling.

"Mmmhello?" it was more of a groggy sigh than a real greeting as I propped myself up my elbows.

"Hey, Tori."

Her voice sounded shaky and broken and a heavy feeling clenched around my heart instantly, fear blocking my airways as I gasped for air. I bolted upright in bed, raking a hand through my messy midnight hair as I tried to collect my sleepy self. "Jade! What's up?"

"Can I come over?" she cut to the chase and my heart trembled in its bodily holds. Good god, she sounded devastated. I clutched the phone between my shoulder and ear as I stumbled out of bed, haphazardly throwing a top over my head and pulling on some sweatpants. "Yeah, yeah, no problem. I'll be here."

When the monotonous beeping of an ended call started to ring in my ear I noticed that she'd hung up on me. I shook my head, trying to clear it of the fog that obscured my thoughts. I didn't know what was going on with Jade but if anything, she needed me to have a clear, sober mind. The sleep had fallen off me like an iron weight, I was wide awake. I found myself pacing up and down the carpet, soft fabric between my toes all of a sudden; I hadn't even registered walking downstairs. I couldn't acknowledge my surroundings, all that mattered was Jade.

I wondered what could've happened. The worst cases whizzed through my head, making me cringe at the idea alone of someone touching just a single hair on the raven-haired girl's body. Nobody had the right to harm her, no matter what way. Jade was scarred enough - quite literally so.

Did Beck do something? Had she been attacked, had she been in a carcrash? My stomach knotted together as I bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from having the hysterics. I wondered if I seemed to be over-protective but I cursed myself for not being there when whatever it was happened to Jade. If I could've just shielded her.

It seemed like an eternity had passed before the sound of the doorbell pierced through the unbearable, pressing silence and I rushed to the door to let Jade in.

Two cold arms wrapped around my waist and a thick bush of hair nestled itself in my neck, followed by freezing skin on mine. A pleasant shiver rippled down my spine until I noticed that Jade was in my arms _crying_. My eyebrows plunged down into a deep hunch as I kissed the top of her head and cradled her. I somehow managed to close the door with my foot.

I ushered her to the couch and we sat down, hot tears dripping down my skin as Jade silently sobbed into me. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

She shook her head furiously, tar black hair tickling my chin. This is the second time I had her crying in my arms and I knew that it wasn't something I enjoyed. I grimaced as I rocked myself back and forth a little, my hands resting warmly on her back as I felt her breathing calm down after a few moments.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked dumbly.

Jade plucked herself off me and sniffed. "What does it look like, Vega? Of course I'm not okay."

"Right, calm down, calm down. What happened?"

Words began to leak from the pale-skinned girls mouth and soon she was eagerly talking about her day at Beck's place, emerald eyes ever so often looking down, fresh tears brimming in them and I quietly wished that I could do something to stop her from crying. I bit my lip.

It had started off normally, they were watching a movie and about halfway through Beck had started to confront her with their recent problems. Jade said that she had gone in defence by saying that he hadn't been hanging out with her - like a good boyfriend does - on his own accord for a few days and that she was sick of taking the lead and she wanted to know why he was so absent.

"Then he said that maybe, just maybe he wasn't such a good boyfriend after all," Jade's voice halted slightly and she looked down. "So I asked him why."

She paused, and that hesitation said more than what she was about to reveal. The apprehension grew in my heart and I shifted a little closer to the raven-haired girl, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze with the hand that I refused to take off her. Uncertain eyes found mine and I swallowed.

"Beck is cheating on me."

As soon as her words hit me my stomach plunged down deep. It felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs and I could only think about how bad Jade must feel. I never expected Beck to cheat on her. He always seemed like such a considerate guy. Sweet, caring. I guessed he isn't what he seems to be, and this was just another piece of proof that you can't trust anyone on this godforsaken little planet - everybody is out to come out and stab someone in back in some way. Beck had just lost all my respect.

I found myself just sitting there, I needed to come up with _something _to say. "With who?"

Her brow creased with deep lines as she shook her head lightly. "Some Northridge girl. I knew they were no good."

"He's doing something very stupid. I'm sorry, Jade. You deserve someone better than him." I meant what I said and I guiltily thought that maybe I could fulfil the role of being her girlfriend. I pushed the thought away as I hid my blush because I knew I shouldn't be feeling these things.

"But don't you get it? I can't afford to lose Beck, not right now. He's the only one who likes, or rather, liked me for who I am."

My eyes swerved down. A lump settled itself in my throat and I tried to swallow it down with all my might. Nerves crept up my spine and I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from doing stupid things. I didn't know what my body was doing but every fibre of my being seemed to resist to Jade's words, going in against what I didn't want to feel and, foremost, didn't want to acknowledge.

I couldn't tell her. I didn't want to and there was no reason to. It wouldn't accomplish anything good. I wrapped my hands up in hers, pale-skinned fingers interlocking with bronze. I looked up into her eyes, seeing the honesty of her exclamations swirling behind the green of her irises. Her eyebrows knitted above them in a surrendering, fragile frown and my heart skipped a beat. Before I knew it, the words I held back between gritted teeth pushed themselves past my lips dryly.

"... I like you."  
>=====<p>

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>An: EXAMS ARE OVER, FUCK YEAAAAAAAAH! I AM SO HAPPY.  
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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<br>**_=====


	9. Ch 9: The Puzzle

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><strong>The Puzzle<br>**=====

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>Jade's expression went blank for a couple of seconds, her emerald eyes reflecting her shocked thoughts. For a moment something unidentifiable - something hopeful - flickered at me from behind her eyes, as if some other part of her was looking at me instead of Jade. Her lips were parted just slightly in a perfect round shape of surprise, eyebrows raised in total disbelief.<p>

Regret crashed over me like a wave, but before I could take anything back, she had already countered me, voice remote and emotionless. "Very _funny_, Vega, but I mean it."

"Y-yeah... of course. Sorry." I chickened out. I couldn't tell her I meant it.

Maybe my thoughts were way ahead of my feelings. This was too premature, I mean, I decided that I might be falling for Jade in one day, that can barely be enough time to conclude anything. I gulped away the dry feeling of rejection that pushed up my throat and I grew rigid next to Jade, mentally backing away into the corner of my mind.

I could taste iron on my tongue, heavy and lead and cold. I could hear Jade trailing off about what she should do with Beck, but her words landed on deaf ears. It had taken me about five seconds to realize that I _had_ meant what I said, and that I did like Jade. But I couldn't possibly say that now, could I? There was no use, it'd be like throwing a rock in a bottomless pit and trying to hear the echo. I mean, she'd get mad, right? It _is_Jade, after all. She'd dislike me, she'd think I'm disgusting. Why in the world would Jade West like me? She doesn't even like girls. Right?

A jab on the shoulder stirred me from my thoughts. "Hey, are you even listening?"

Green, sad eyes pierced into mine and I nodded. "Of course I am," I shifted closer to Jade, grabbing her hands with my shaky ones - another clear sign that told me everything I'd denied was very much untrue. "I was just thinking about how you should deal with Beck, for now... I mean, do you still love him?"

Jade pouted and I found myself melting. "I don't know. I do think I've been falling _out_of love with him lately. I don't know why... it just happens, I guess. You know, remember when I told you that I'm in love with someone who I shouldn't be in love with?" she paused, waiting for me to nod back. I did remember, I just hadn't figured it out yet. "Put that and him cheating together, and...That's bad, Tori. Do I still love Beck? Maybe. I just don't know."

"Jeez, it's all so confusing. I think you need to split up. Even if just for a while, Beck has some things he obviously needs to fix," I said, cautious. "As for your problems... that's your job to do."

"I guess you're right..." the pale-skinned girl said after a while, slumping back into the couch, head resting on my shoulder. "What should I do though? Where do I start?"

She looked at me from the corner of her eye and I smiled assuringly, shrugging, causing her head to bob around. It was hard to focus with her this close. "I don't know. Sort out what you feel, give it all a place, let it sink in. All I can say is that it won't be easy. Beck has been a big part of your life, there's no forgetting that."

"Yeah."

We sat there for a while, both sunken deeply in thoughts. The silence stretched on as if to stress the importance of our feelings and musings. It wasn't awkward. It was nice. Jade's head was light on my shoulder and I could feel every little move she made. Somewhere, in the far back of my mind, Jade's words resonated, echoing through my consciousness. In love with someone else?

I didn't dare to think _that_positively - my heart made somersaults just thinking about it - but what if that someone... was me? It would make sense. It would explain her recent interest in me, the friendship we'd developed so easily... it all came down to the fact that she might just have been looking to connect with me because she liked me.

Screwing my eyes shut, I caught myself before these thoughts could become a part of me. This was just a diminutive piece of hope nestling itself into my thoughts. It was a fragile thought, balancing on thin, snapping strings above so much loopholes and wrongs it could only be false hope. Hope is always a letdown anyway, in the end. Just like expectations; you'd be better off without any of them, casting out the disappointment in anything. Jade didn't like me, and that was final.

I could feel sleep tugging at my senses, pulling me back into slumber and I opened my eyes with difficulty. When I looked next to me, I was greeted by a lightly sleeping Jade.

My lips quivered, curling upward into a smile. I couldn't help but adore the sight of it, her mouth slightly open, expression blissfully blank and relaxed. I couldn't image the dreams she'd be having tonight - dreams of broken hearts and probably beating up several Northridge girls. My smile widened. Poor thing.

However, I did need to get Jade up and into bed. How convenient that it was Saturday tomorrow. Does Jade plan these things?

I bit my bottom lip as I shoved my arms underneath the taller girl's sleeping form, gently lifting her up from the couch. My cheeks flushed red as I felt the delicate weight of her against me and I had to try hard to keep breathing. She wasn't heavy at all. I inhaled all of Jade's scent which clung to me like a thick mist. With wobbly legs I made my way upstairs, holding Jade bridal-style.

The trip to my room seemed longer than usual, and I was sure it wasn't because I was carrying someone. No, it was because I was holding _Jade_. It was an amazing feel, to have someone so fragile in your grip, knowing that you can't let her fall because she will be broken beyond repair. Halfway through she had stirred a little, mumbling something incoherent before wrapping her hands up into my clothes, clutching on as if for dear life. The blush on my face had grown considerably and I was glad it was dark in the house and that Jade was fast asleep.

I softly put her down on the bed and exhaled deeply. I realized I had been holding my breath for the entire time and I felt pleasantly lightheaded.

Red digits on my alarm clock showed that it was nearly four in the morning. The very early morning light was already glowing on the horizon, battling the moon in a fight of brilliance. I stood by the window, God knows for how long, just thinking. About everything and nothing in particular, ever so often looking over my shoulder to check on Jade. She'd rolled over on her side, hands wrapped in the blankets and she was snoring lightly.

I was about to plop down in bed next to her, pulling the covers up to my face when I realized I'd have to get the black-haired girl into some pyjama's first. An unpleasant warmth spread through my body, tingling through my veins as I mindlessly got a pair of pyjama's out of the closet. I gulped audibly as my intentions dawned on me.

I'd have to undress Jade.

Convincing myself that it wasn't a big deal, I slowly began to unbutton Jade's blouse. It took several tries before my trembling fingers were able to push a button through the tiny holes, but soon I had taken off the piece of clothing, leaving her in her bra and jeans. My cheeks burned and I looked away, only to be drawn back in awe, eyes roaming all over her. I felt like a huge pervert.

Jade was beautiful. Her body nearly reflected the outside light as I carefully stuck her arms through the short-sleeved pyjama shirt, and I couldn't help but to be captivated. There was barely anything to really look at, yet it was so much for me. Skin as white as the milky way, smooth as velvet, a million invisible hairs tracking a goose bump trail up her shoulder. I soon found my fingertips softly tracing the curve of her elbow, the stark line of her forearm, the bumps and dents of her scars and I wished I could stop myself but I couldn't - I didn't want to.

I tried to make out words or patterns on the mauled skin on her wrist. I tried to solve the puzzle, solve Jade by touching and feeling, knowing.

Just barely stopping myself from roaming my fingers all across the expanse of her stomach, I ripped them off her, now proceeding to fumble at the button of her jeans. My hands were sweaty, vision bleary. I could hear my heart thumping erratically against the base of my skull, like a rhythm put out of sync, out of beat.

My jaw was on the floor by the time I had undone Jade of her jeans. Slender, smooth and mile-long legs lay peacefully on the covers and I could only watch in amazement. How was she able to be _this_ perfect? I didn't know that was humanly possible.

I felt guilty for looking at her like this, but I couldn't help myself.

Her legs were soon slipped up in pyjama pants because I was afraid I'd go insane if I let my eyes feast on her any longer. My head felt like it was going to explode, both from thoughts and the uncomfortable warmth that wasn't going to leave anytime soon. The things Jade did to me were insane, really.

Carefully slipping into bed beside her, I flipped the warm, fluffy covers over us, ignoring the fact that I was burning out of my skin. I was very conscious of Jade being so close to me and self-conscious of every move I made. I frowned. I didn't want this to become a problem. I didn't want my feelings to put a barrier between what we had going. I'd have to act normal.

As soon as my head hit the pillows, my mind stopped overflowing with thoughts as if someone had just built up a dam inside my head. I couldn't think of anything anymore but the steady breathing next to me, the warmth Jade emitted and the overwhelming feel of sleep my body needed. The Jade-rampage in my mind had been put to a halt and it was a warm and numb welcome.

I was almost asleep when I felt Jade stir next to me.

"Tori?" her sleepy voice crackled through the silence of the night like a lost radio call.

I turned to her, eyes having trouble finding her in the dark but soon I saw the emerald shine. "Yeah? What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be okay, right? I'll be able to fix this all, won't I? Somehow, someday." her soft, low voice was honest and insecure that it made my heart ache. There was no way someone as beautiful and lovely as Jade deserved to feel like they aren't worth anything.

"Y-yeah, you'll be alright..." I murmured, cursing myself for not being honest to Jade. I've missed a chance I thought I didn't want to grasp, but this longing in my heart wasn't going away soon. I felt like I just walked out on the biggest thing I've ever needed. Yes, I could admit it now. I needed Jade. I needed her more than anything.

Her eyes were falling close, much needed sleep to soothe her worries and sadness in her heart pulling her back into her deep slumber. A small smile played around the pale-skinned girl's lips as I brushed away some loose locks of her thick black curls, tucking them behind her pierced ear. My thumb lingered to graze across her cheek and she closed her eyes, sighing contently. In this moment, everything felt so pure. I smiled at her with a stomach full of butterflies.

"I know. I've got you, right?" her voice was merely a whisper, a breath cautiously filled with dreams and promises. She chuckled sleepily, wrapping her arms around me as she nuzzled her face into my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I blamed her state of being half-awake for her actions. "You're turning me into a sappy person, Vega."

I laughed. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I like it."

"Wow! Jade West actually likes some feelings! Who _are _you?"

"Shut up and go to sleep, Vega."  
>=====<p>

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>An: yeaaa, I don't even know. I guess this was just needed. I don't want them together too fast. That'd be unreasonable and unbelievable. It's coming together now though (: so the Jori will soon be strong within this fic. Hope you liked it, leave me review! (:  
><strong>=====

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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<br>**_=====


	10. Ch 10: Bad Luck

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><strong>Bad Luck<br>**=====

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>I woke up to the smell of orange juice and toasted bread.<p>

My eyes opened with the greatest of strain, soon they fluttered close again and I crawled back into the warm covers with a sigh. I buried my face into the pillows, slowly absorbing the myriad of smells that were in and about the room - which included Jade's lovely scent. A sleepy smile crossed my lips as I turned around again, tucking the duvets under my legs. I dozed off again.

Only then did I notice that Jade was not actually _in _the bed. I extended my hand, fingertips grazing an empty, cold place next to me and worry kick-started in my heart. She wouldn't have left without saying anything, would she? I knew she wouldn't, yet that fear lodged itself in my head more quickly that I liked to admit.

I got up out of bed, kicking the covers off me. I threw a quick look in the mirror and nearly scared myself to death. I looked horrible. My hair was tangled in impossible ways, dark brown strings going wild on top of my head, and I had dark bags under my eyes.

Deciding I'd need a bit of a wash-up, I stumbled towards the bathroom, yawning loudly.

I was in mid-yawn as I opened the bathroom door, my eyes squeezed shut as I groaned groggily. What time was it anyway? I rubbed my eyes and walked over to the sink on auto-pilot, not needing to look where I was going to know where stuff was. Turning the tap, I filled my hands with icy cold water and splashed it in my face, gasping as my senses dawned on me.

Blindly grabbing a towel, I realized it was really damp in the bathroom - surely not a big deal, in a bathroom - but I hadn't heard Trina go in and take a shower. I brushed it off and dried my face. When I removed the soft fabric from my awakened eyes, I saw Jade standing in front of me.

Naked.

Well, okay, she wasn't _completely _naked but it was bare skin alright. A lot of it. I had a full-on view of her boobs. A tingle whistled through my body and settled itself in the pit of my stomach, burning there like a bright flame. I squeezed my eyes shut the moment I caught myself staring at her and I snapped my head downwards, not preventing an "oh my God!" to squeeze past my lips.

"Jesus!" Jade jumped at my voice, covering her bare chest with her shirt, eyebrows knitted sharply over her surprised eyes, "Holy shit, learn how to knock, Vega! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

I could only look at the floor in embarrassment, my cheeks growing hot with a blush. The thing I wanted most was to bolt out of the room and to pretend it never happened but I stood nailed to the tiled, wet floor, unable to move. I could only stumble dumbly, balling my shaky hands into fists. My eyes saw nothing, white spots dancing in my vision. "O-o-oh my God! I-I'm so sorry."

The pale-skinned girl sighed. "D-don't mention it. We're both girls, right? It's okay."

Shaking my head, I murmured multiple sorries. It was not okay. I was feeling dizzy. Something warm was on my face, dripping down my lip, but I couldn't quite identify what it was.

"Tori, you can look up now. I'm all clothed. Honestly, why are you such a prude, can't you..." Jade halted in mid-sentence and that caused me to look up. Her index finger was pointed at my face, other hand resting seductively on her hip as she cocked her head, a smirk forming on her lips, "Really, Tori? A nosebleed? That is fucking amazing."

"What are you talking about?" I countered, shaking hands flying upwards to check on my nose. Red fingertips greeted me when I looked back at them, blood dripping onto the white tiles with an alarming rate. I groaned through Jade's hearty laughter, pouting as I grabbed a big wad of toilet paper and held it against my nose. My head was feeling woozy from the blood loss and I could not possibly be more embarrassed than I was in this moment. It's not _my_ fault Jade has to be so goddamn _gorgeous._

The latter's laughter soon died out, a sole snicker echoing through the room. "Wow, Vega. Seems you liked what you saw."

"Shuddap."

"I thought this only happened in cartoons!"

I rolled my eyes at her, not being able to talk properly since my nose was getting clogged. The metallic taste of blood soon lay heavy on my tongue and I grimaced as I changed the toilet paper wad, the former one being completely drenched. Jade could only smirk and I narrowed my eyes at her, pouting.

"What a nice good morning this is. You just made my day- no, probably my week," the black-haired girl smirked, now both her hands placed at her hips and I couldn't _not_ notice the curves from which they were made up, making my head hurt as the nosebleed continued to go on, "Nice to know I can at least excite _someone_."

"H-hey!" if my cheeks could get any more red they would.

Jade could only grin wider, raising her eyebrows knowingly, emerald eyes flickering mysteriously.

"I'm just saying. Anyway, I made some breakfast for you downstairs, if you want it," she switched the subject easily and I thanked her internally. So Jade West _does_know mercy, "I hope you like toast." I noticed that her tone was nonchalant, but I spotted a light blush gracing her cheeks, eyes cast down. I grinned widely.

"Yeah, I do. Thanks."

We got to the kitchen, the nosebleed receding slowly but surely, and I got quite a shocker when I saw the table being all tidied up, one serving resting on the table cloth. There was toast with scrambled eggs, a plain one and one with jam, coffee and orange juice. It looked delicious. How had she even managed to find all the stuff she needed to cook this?

I dug in, Jade watching with an amused smile opposite of me. It was a shame I couldn't smell or taste any of the food Jade had made, but I found it exceptionally sweet of her. It's not really something I'd expect her to do, to make someone else's breakfast - she strikes me more of the type that demands it's made for her instead. Despite that and the fact that I couldn't enjoy the _actual_ food, I liked it a lot, a big blush covering my face as I practically inhaled the contents on the plate; I _was _pretty hungry.

Starting to feel self-conscious with Jade watching me, that devious smirk plastered on her face, I slowed down on the food and asked her if there was anything she wanted to do today.

The raven-haired girl shrugged. "I don't really care. The weather forecast didn't look too good this morning, so I suggest we stay in."

"Wow, Jade, for how long have you been awake if you've seen the news?" my eyebrows raised in surprise. It was around two in the afternoon by now since I had to catch up on the sleep I lacked last night. The news, and the weather forecast, are on TV around nine. Having stayed up most of the night, that would be an insane job to do.

"Around seven or so, I think?" she shrugged, black curls bouncing up and down. "I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. So I watched some TV, hid in the closet when I heard Trina and your parents leave because I looked absolutely ridiculous this morning, made you some breakfast and... showered." Jade smirked as I blushed deeply.

I swallowed my food down hard, my brow creasing as I frowned. "That's weird. You slept like a rose when I brought you to bed- o-oh God."

"What was that, Vega?"

"N-n-nothing," I stammered dumbly for the second time today, cursing myself for letting myself blab. I stabbed the breakfast with my fork, suddenly nervous, "I-I carried y-you to bed last night a-and you seemed to sleep just fine then... I-I mean, that's why it's weird that you couldn't sleep anymore!"

Jade smirked. "Now that you say so, I did find it a little weird that I didn't wake up on your couch in the first place. And that also explains as to why I was wearing pajama's all of a sudden. I figured as much. Thank you though, it sure as hell made my sleep more comfortable."

I could only stare at the toast on my plate, my cheeks glowing red hot."Y-you're welcome."

I didn't know why I was freaking out so much. I mean, any friend would make sure their company wasn't left to sleep by themselves on a cold, hard couch, right? That's not something you'd only do if you really cared a lot about someone, it's common sense. Right? It's like, friendship code. I was imagining things again. I was really delusional these days.

"A-anyways, want to watch a movie or something?"

Jade agreed and we moved upstairs, rocketing for the bed. It smelled of sleep and Jade and I smiled as she shifted to lay next to me. I opened my mouth to ask her which movie she wanted to see but right then the sky just bursted open and it started pouring rain. Within seconds the windows were streaming with water and we both stayed quiet as if to measure how bad it was by listening to the rain. Not soon after the wind began to blow vigorously, howling around the house.

It hadn't stopped five minutes in, and I frowned. I don't know what the weather forecast had been, but it looked pretty bad indeed.

"Wow, it's quite the storm huh?"

I nod. "Yeah. It's nice. I never really liked storms, though."

"How can you not?" Jade turned her head, emerald eyes looking into mine. I could see in her eyes that she momentarily lost herself in her thoughts, eyebrows hunched, "The sound of rain is so soothing and the smell of a summer storm gives me goose bumps. I love this kind of weather."

Not preventing a smile from playing on my lips, I shrugged."It's not that I dislike any of that, I just never liked storms because of th-" I was cut off by a flash that lit up the entirety of the room, immediately followed by the loud crack of thunder, the rumble resonating through my bones and I yelped. I trembled and squeezed my eyes shut, curling into a ball.

For a moment I thought I had died but then my heart sputtered back to work. The thunder slowly yet loudly hummed away and I could hear Jade laughing.

"Aww, is Vega scared of the big old evil thunder?" her voice was dripping with playful malice and I slowly uncurled myself, pouting.

"N-no! Pfsh, who do you think I am? Scared of thunder? Never."

The words were barely out of my mouth when another flash dipped the room in white light, like it was out to taunt me. I cringed and closed my eyes, ready for impact. Shivers danced on my spine as the thunder roared, shaking me to the core. I clamped my hands over my ears, shaking my head. Stupid thunder. Stupid Jade. I could her booming laughter over anything else. I knew it must be a funny sight, but I was really scared of thunder back when I was a kid. It faded slowly once I had gotten older, but I was still stuck with the remainder of my phobia.

I cautiously opened one eye, trembling all over. My hands were sweaty with fear. The feeling is really indescribable. It's not so much the sound or the sight of thunder; it's the idea of what it can do. Sure, the loud crack helps the mind think of things, but I'm mostly afraid of its enormously destructive power.

"It's not funny, okay!" I punched Jade's shoulder as the thunder ebbed away, a nervous giggle escaping my throat, "You try and be scared of thunder, then we talk."

"Oh, come on, you've got to admit that it's a pretty hilarious thing."

Jade rolled over to her side, her black hair cascading over her shoulders and onto the blanket. I could barely see her face in the dim light but it was enough to knock the breath out of me. This was the first time that Jade had ever looked adorable, with her hands securely tucked underneath her head, dark twinkling eyes looking up at me expectantly. Surely, the thunder had to fool with the moment again and I winced again as the room practically shook with the incoming tremors.

"Holy damn, it's really close!" another flash, another rumble throughout my body. I faintly nodded, blinking away the tears in my eyes. My fear hadn't been this great in years, but then again, there were seldom storms like this. I idly wondered how this one had pried its way between all the good weather.

I could see the lightning race down to Earth out of the rain-stained window like a big, million-degree hot vein.

The thunder rolled in after a few seconds and I nearly jumped off the bed, pulse sky-high. It became significantly harder to breathe as the thunder went on to assault the sky. It was like the clouds were in a gunfight and I tried my best to calm down. I could hear Jade was excited though. "Did you hear that? That was awesome! It's got to be less than a mile away!"

Lightning.

Thunder.

Again and again.

"Man, it's so fucking _close_, this is so amazing."

"I know!" it was out of my mouth before I even knew what I was doing, "Would you please just shut up?" I yelled, screwing my eyes shut as my throat tightened itself, terror having vice-like grip on my body that slowly suffocated me. My breathing was really rigid now and it scared me. I couldn't calm down.

"W-woah, Vega, are you okay?" Jade's enthusiasm had drained from her voice, solid worry hinting in her tone.

I violently shook my head, curling into a ball again as yet another gigantic crack echoed through the sky. I heard myself murmur incoherent things more than I was aware of saying it and I started to quiver all over, every part of me twitching and protesting against the fear that had locked itself around my heart.

Then warm, strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against an equally warm body and it was like static electricity flowed between Jade and I. Shivers ran up and down my spine, pleasant ones this time. I hadn't realized I was so cold until then and I turned around in Jade's hold, burying my face in the crook of her neck. Fingertips tiptoed over my back, gently caressing them in an ever-present rhythm. Slowly but surely I could feel my muscles start to relax until I lay limp against Jade's form and I could fall asleep right then and there.

Outside the storm was roaring but it had no effect. Not anymore. It was as if Jade served as my protective barrier, a force field to shield me from harm.

For a moment I thought I felt Jade's lips press softly upon my forehead, but that could have been my imagination. Her somewhat raspy, gentle voice droned through the room and I could feel her chest rumble accordingly. "Are you seriously this scared of thunder?"

I nodded against the pale-skinned girl's neck, nuzzling in further as I laughed. "Yeah. I'm not proud of it."

"As if it's something you can change. This is just who you are, why should you be ashamed of that?"

"I don't know," my eyebrows knitted together as I mulled over her question. It didn't seem fair that she asked me that while she herself was hiding everything that she truly was, but then again, being scared of thunder can't really be compared to serious self-issues, "It's so childish to say I'm scared of thunder. People already have trouble taking me serious."

"Oh?" Jade said, her voice carrying an inquiring yet worried edge and I wished I could see her face. If her voice said that much already, I really wondered how she would look.

I snorted. "You should know, Jade. I know it's different now, but don't you dare tell me you ever took me seriously before... this."

Regret washed over me when I felt her stiffen up next to me, only if it was for a second or two. I knew I hit a sensitive chord. "Okay, I get what you're going for. However, that isn't entirely true. Yeah, you might have annoyed me to no end, but that did mean I never took what you did or said into consideration," her hands played with my hair absentmindedly.

"Are you kidding?"

"Of course not. I'm a sensible human being, even though I know I look like I'm not. I can listen to people if I want to," Jade's voice turned into a snarl and I winced. I didn't mean for her to get upset, I was just honestly blown away by her confessions. I never thought she had ever listened to a thing I said, making fun of me always seemed like her top priority. "Is that so hard to believe?"

I shook my head against her skin. "N-no, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, I always thought you were out to only ruin my life. No offense."

"Fair enough. I suppose that's the impression I've left on you, then," she sighed, chest rising against my face and I could feel her throat vibrate softly as she talked, the hum quite a soothing sound as I basked in the warmth of her grip, "I do hope that same impression has changed a little since then?"

This could be my big chance. I could say it right now, aloud. Yes, that impression has changed. It has changed a lot because frankly, Jade West, I've fallen in love with you. I care a lot about you and I'd never forgive myself I you came out of this situation more harmed than you already are and I cannot get you off my mind. You're everything I see. And even if you still find me an annoying brat I'll just live with that because honestly, I need you. I need you more than anything in the world and I know that sounds cheesy but it's nothing but the truth.

But I didn't. I didn't take my chance. "Of course it has. You're more than a meanie to me now. Y-you're much more, you're my friend and I actually enjoy spending time with you. I'm taken aback with how different you've showed to be, a-and I like it. I care about you. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, Vega, I know that." Jade chuckled. "I can say the same about you."

"T-thanks," I was glad I could hide my blush, very much aware of the tightening grip around me, warm arms pressing into my back and waist pleasantly, "Seriously though, you care about me? Who are you and what have you done with Jade?"

"Yeah, yeah. Tell anyone and you're dead."  
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><strong>An: and this is why I should not be allowed to listen to RainyMood all day long.**  
><strong>ON ANOTHER NOTE, I GRADUATED! My hard work in studying for my exams actually paid off, so I don't regret it at all.<strong>

**I love you people. 50+ reviews! I know it's not much for you guys but omg, I never got so much feedback. You guys are the best. Thank you.  
><strong>=====

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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<strong>_  
>=====<p> 


	11. Ch 11: Fireworks

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><strong>Fireworks<br>**=====

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>After yesterday's thunderstorm, which lasted the whole remainder of the day, it was nice to see the sun in the sky again. Jade seemed to be less happy, as if the brilliance of the sun cast more light on her problems than she had dared to, no more shadows and dark corners for her to hide in. She seemed to be faring quite okay, with all that had happened being behind her temporarily, but then again, I never knew what storms were raging behind her calm mask.<p>

Jade had held me throughout the entirety of the storm. Even remembering it made goose bumps explode on my skin and I smiled; her touch had been so warm, so gentle and protective, all the things I never expected her to be towards me. We had even fallen asleep in each other's arms at night, Jade's face so close to mine that I had felt her warm breath tickle on my lips, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I had shivered and I seriously wondered why we weren't together yet.

Because ''normal'' friends don't do this, do they?

They don't sleep with foreheads touching and fingers intertwined, whispering words over pillows with hearts beating about as loud as a drum through the night.

I could be wrong since I had a knack for being wrong, but Jade sent off so many mixed signals that it made my head hurt. Fact was that I was growing considerably more in love with her every day, to the point where it was becoming hard to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there. I couldn't conceal it much longer.

There had to be a point where I would break down and spill it all.

I could feel it close in on me, and I realized that at some point, I'd have to tell Jade about my feelings. No way I could keep this a secret for forever. I figured that somehow I should just give it a go. Better sorry than safe. I hated the fact that I could lose her as a friend, but this was unbearable. It was weird because it had been little over two weeks and I was completely infatuated; still, my feelings were threatening to overflow.

I was watching Jade cook my breakfast once again right now. Apparently she liked to do that, so naturally, I let her. There's no point in refusing Jade things because in the end, she will get what she wants anyway. I couldn't deny that I liked to look at her while she was doing it, too. The way she moved was just so mesmerizing. She was elegant. Gracious but with a murderous and hazardous edge.

Her hips swayed as she moved around in the kitchen, messy hair draped over sloped shoulders and one end of her pyjama top riding up, showing white skin. Delicate fingers broke eggs and handled the whisk to destroy them beyond repair. Every little motion seemed to be executed so perfectly, as if Jade was carrying herself with the utmost precision, afraid to break out of control. I could hear her hum along with the music on the radio and soon after she was singing aloud, a smirk on her lips as she looked at me.

Catching onto the words, I smiled back at her and started singing, knowing the song by heart. It's a song I used to play to death and I was surprised Jade knew it too.

Our voices soon filled the kitchen as we belted out the words, my eyes closed as I began to move to the melody. Jade used her whisk as a mock microphone, pieces of egg flying all over the place as she spun on her feet, vicious green eyes coming to rest on mine, a smile rolling over her singing lips.

She skipped and pranced all over the kitchen and I followed her around, like a bear after honey. Somewhere I found it pathetic but hey, I was just dancing too. We were having fun and the song soon resonated through the room, through my bones and I couldn't help but smile as Jade took my hand and twirled me around, pulling me close as she did so. Warm hands rested on my hips and my chest hummed as I gasped, words faltering as I stammered through my singing. But Jade merely smiled, winking.

I got caught up in the way she danced. I got caught up and I was drawn towards her before I noticed. My shaking hands wrapped around her neck, pretending to be dancing with her, throwing my hair backwards. A stupid grin graced my lips and I could not get it off. My eyes drifted to her mouth as she pulled me nearer still.

Jade held her lower lip between pointy teeth and my gaze snapped back up to her piercing eyes. Then slowly she leaned in and she was so close I could see the individual million tiny freckles that made up most of the skin underneath her eyes. I didn't know if I was still breathing but I didn't care. I was going to kiss Jade West. A mantra repeated itself in my head, the words _don't pull back don't pull back _going on and on like a broken record.

It was as if my thoughts were louder than my mouth because Jade promptly steered away from my head, returning to her cooking as if nothing had happened. A disappointing frown knitted my eyebrows together, yet I squeezed a giggle out of my throat, just to play along. I was breathless.

Why would she want to kiss me? Hope was blossoming in my chest yet I didn't know why. This didn't say anything. I knew that Jade could be sultry, so this was probably just how she behaved. Beck wasn't around, she was lonely. Excuses abundant. Still, somewhere, I felt something. I felt a spark and I hoped that Jade had felt that same spark, that same ignition of feelings. I swallowed hard, trying my hardest at steadying my voice as I spoke.

"I keep forgetting you're such a good singer."

I watched her head cock slightly from behind, "You're not too bad yourself, Vega."

Despite the huge feeling of rejection that slowly started to eat away at my mind, I felt flattered. Really, how can one person feel so much at the same time? I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I grimaced, feeling my stomach lurch. I was still in a daze, head spinning as if I'd been intoxicated. I'd been _so_ _close_.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Hey, I meant that," said Jade, and she turned around with a plate full of French toast and a grin on her pretty face, "Breakfast is done, by the way."

The scent of the food sent my bad mood flying off to somewhere far, far away. Even though I wasn't feeling hungry before, my stomach now growled violently. I sighed contently as I picked up my knife and fork and dug in, happy I could actually taste her cooking this time because it was amazing. It practically melted on my tongue and I smiled.

"This is really good, Jade," I managed to say in between munches, painfully aware of how I must look, "Do you cook often?"

She shrugged, raising her eyebrow in the process. "Yeah, every now and then. I had to learn it myself eventually when my parents couldn't be arsed to feed me anymore, too busy catching up with their own lives to bother. Ever since then I've quite managed my way with food."

"Wow, that must've been though."

"It's okay really. I've learned to think of it as a positive experience," Jade answers, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she sat down opposite of me. A devious grin was playing on her lips as she eyed me up and down, "I mean, I've become a damn good cook."

I laughed, agreeing with her and finishing up my breakfast. Jade claimed to still be not hungry, which I could understand. She lived off coffee, mostly.

We talked some more about what we should do today, and once again ended up on the couch, watching a movie. For once Jade didn't care what movie we were going to watch, and much to her dismay, I was in the mood for a romantic one. All huddled up, we sat there, warm and comfortable. I felt every single move the pale-skinned girl made and every motion sent my pulse up, heart threatening to break out of my chest.

The atmosphere was nice, as always. Yet I felt a tension hang between us. It was as if we were magnets, and instead of attract, we pushed each other away. Jade just felt distant and remote, and it pained me to think it was of what happened earlier. Nerves whistled through my body every time I thought of it, and I felt a constant urge to bolt upright just to do something with myself.

Being restless wasn't something I enjoyed, I couldn't just sit here and let Jade pass me by.

"H-hey, Jade? Can I ask you something?" I blurted out after some time, not being able to contain myself when watching a movie like this. I wouldn't normally be bothered by romantic movies but it felt as if it had put an iron weight on my heart, pressing down until I would finally speak up to Jade. It was ushering me and I was sure I'd slowly collapse if I didn't just get this off my chest. I frowned deeply as I watched her turn to look at me lazily.

"Well, that's not a pretty face. What's up?"

Her glinting eyes captured my attention and I sat frozen on the couch, silent for what felt like hours, all thoughts washed away, "I-I wanted t-to tell you something... but I forgot."

"Mustn't have been important then," Jade brushed off, waving her hand to dismiss my comment and I chuckled through gritted teeth, sinking back into the couch. I nearly found it funny but I was too anxious and too disappointed in myself to actually have a laugh off it. If only you knew, Jade. If only you knew.

I wished I could just tell. I didn't even know what was stopping me besides ridiculous, unreasonable fear. The worst scenario was that we were going to get back to being hostile and somewhat friends. I could live with that as well, yet I found it incredibly hard to confess.

Because _what if_? What if she feels the same? What if somehow, we ended up being together? I wouldn't know what to do if any of that happened. I was afraid of the what if and that was even more ridiculous because I should know what to do when she reciprocates my feelings. That should be the things which I have dreamt of in many of my dreams. But that's the trick part; dreams are just dreams, reality is way more unpredictable and that's the scary part.

"This movie is stupid."

I frowned, turning my head to look at Jade. She sat there, eyes fixed intently on the screen with her eyebrows knitted sharply over her nose. Her lips were slightly pursed and it killed me to think that it was just a natural trait Jade owned. Come on, who would want to kiss those lips?

"Why?" I said, almost losing myself, "It's so romantic."

"Oh please," she tore her eyes off the movie playing, turning around so that she faced me, "Don't go all sappy-ass on me. Look at it! It's so dumb it eats away on your IQ as you watch. I mean, how the hell would two friends just ''suddenly'' have mutual feelings for each other. That never happens in real life. Never."

Somewhere Jade's words ring true in my ears. I know that most love is complicated, but I've always believed that if it's meant to be, it will happen. I know it probably sounds cheesy, but that's just how I think it works. But I also doubted what the pale-skinned girl has said because it's a true fact that feelings don't always develop _slowly_. They can come quickly and strike you like a predator jumping for its prey and before you know it you're done for. It's that easy. I should know.

"Sure it does," I countered, smiling sweetly, "Feelings aren't always steady, they're fast and unpredictable. They're unstable, volatile, sometimes even lethal and they leave most people unbeknownst of them until something makes them trigger and they come bursting out like lava."

"Vega, you're sputtering nonsense and we both know that."

I paused the movie and fully faced Jade, shifting closer, "Okay, so... w-what if I liked you? Out of the blue. Would you think my feelings were untrue then?"

Jade's pierced eyebrow perched itself higher above her eye. Her lips then slowly curled into a smirk, "What are you suggesting?"

"N-no! Just hypothetically speaking, of course. I'm just really... curious." I lied with trembling words. My heart was beating about up in my throat and I felt that if I would stand up my legs would not support me anymore, a numbing feeling spreading out through my body like white hot fire.

"Ugh, okay. I don't see the point. Why would _you_, of all people, like _me _anyways?"

I shrugged, "Why not?"

"I'm not exactly likeable, Vega."

"Sure you are."

"Am not."

I couldn't hide my grin, "Yeah, you are."

"Then tell me why." Jade's eyes flickered in a challenging way and I gulped, unsure of what to do.

"'Cause you're amazing, okay?" I finally said, feeling everything little thing bubble over, passing my lips before I could stop it, "You're beautiful - heck, you're _gorgeous_, Jade. I mean, look at yourself. I never knew I'd say this but you're actually nice, you're cute, you're funny, I love your sarcasm and your jokes. I love that you have an honest opinion and I just like you for who you are. I like you because whenever I'm with you, I just feel like I belong."

While I was talking, I felt the huge need to stop before I made it any worse. But I couldn't. I could hear myself spill words and words over and over but I had no influence. As if I was powerless, being taken out of my body to watch in painful shame and guilt from above, reading Jade's face like a book in the process. And it wasn't pretty.

"Vega," Jade's stern voice cut in halfway through and I snapped my mouth shut instantly, "Hold the fuck up for a minute."

"... I-I mean, hypothetically speaking."

She shook her head violently, black curls flying about. A slender hand raised, shaky index finger pointed at my face as her eyes burned into mine, "I said, hold the fuck up," I could hear she meant it this time and I bit my tongue, shrinking back into my seat. Her expression held something unidentifiable, something blank but it also carried a tensed edge, as though she was being apprehensive. She breathed in hard through her nose, posture rigid.

"Did you really mean what you just said?"

"Yes."

Her voice cracked. "Why?"

"Because," my throat was so dry I had to swallow twice, eyebrows hunching over my eyes as I watched Jade cautiously, "B-because I like you, Jade. I really _like _like you. There's just something about you that I cannot ignore and it pulls me in and then I just lose myself. You're interesting and adorable and I want you to be mine."

There. I said it. I said it and now there was no turning back, nothing else to do but gauge the damage I'd done. I glanced up with guilt glinting in my eyes and for a second Jade seemed as if she could slap me in the face. Wild embers burned in her eyes so bright that they could kill and I tried to ask myself why I had been stupid enough to tell Jade how I felt about her, but then she grabbed my head, leaned in and before I knew it I felt a pair of warm, full lips press against mine.

My heart imploded. Goose bumps rolled down my skin, pleasant shudders raking down my spine as I gasped. I closed my eyes, both body and brain going numb and blank and everything was okay. I would collapse on the spot if it wasn't for the fact that I was sitting down. Euphoric adrenaline rushed through my veins, scorching my insides.

It was a scared, gentle kiss - Jade's lips only feathery light upon my own, but it was enough to knock me senseless.

She pulled back because unfortunately, humans have to breathe. But I felt that one kiss wouldn't suffice, intoxicated by the feeling as if I was already addicted to the taste of her lips. So I drew in a quick breath and pulled Jade in for another kiss, moving my lips back on hers. This time it was Jade that gasped and I grinned into the kiss. Fireworks blasted through my head, through my heart and I felt weightless.

But rough hands pushed me off and we broke apart, "I can't do this, Tori. I _want _to but I can't."

"Y-you just kissed me. Why can't you?" I replied, eyebrows knitting together on my brow. My head was spinning ad I realized that my heartbeat was dangerously high. A tingle spread itself throughout my lips and they heated up to inhuman temperatures.

"I just... I can't be with you. Because of me."

"But why?"

"If _Beck _doesn't even want me, why would you?" I looked up at her and saw that tears began to run down her cheeks and I choked on my breath, "I don't deserve you, Tori. Really."

For a moment I had nothing to say and hurt flickered strong in Jade's eyes in those two, maybe three seconds. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I couldn't focus for a while, my thoughts haphazardly throwing themselves together to appear a bit intelligent at least, "W-why wouldn't I?" I stammered out eventually, "You're amazing."

Jade ran her fingers over her wrist and my heart twisted in my chest with sadness, knowing what lays on her skin. A single tear solely fell down on her forearm and she stifled a sob, "I'm not. I'm broken, Tori. I'm misery incarnate, how self-pitying it might sound. I feel small and ungrateful and I'm just not good enough," she paused, biting down on her lower lip as she looked up with teary eyes, "I want to be good enough for you, I want to be perfect, but I can't. I'll never be."

"I don't want you to be perfect, Jade."

Uncertain, surprised eyes looked up to find mine and in them I read that she is not understanding. That look sent chills down my spine; to know that she has always felt the pressure to be perfect, that she had always felt that Beck needed her to be amazing and outstanding while she couldn't, that it was expected of her to be always good enough and that they never asked themselves if she could handle that in the first place. It's heart-breaking.

"But what if I don't suffice? I'm damaged, I'm like the second-hand toy you always got as a kid. I'm not going to be nice, I'm not going to be cooperative, I'm only going to be a trouble-maker. I'm damaged and I can't do that to you. I can't saddle you up with my problems. You deserve better than me."

I exhaled slowly, finally regaining control over my breathing. Taking Jade's hands in mine, I squeezed them assuringly, verdant eyes meeting mine and I melted, "That's okay."

Jade's façade broke down further when the words lodged themselves into her mind. It was like all her walls came crumbling down, her mask beginning to show cracks and dents she could not repair anymore, forcing her to unravel her true self, with all her flaws and mistakes.

"It's okay. If you were burning down I'd still search for a way to douse the flames and so I'm gonna be there for you. Because that's what I'm supposed to do, right? I don't need you to be perfect, I need you to be as flawed as possible to polish you up. And I'm going to take damn good care of that 'cause that is what _you _deserve."

"Are you sure?" the pale-skinned girl sniffled uncertainly.

I smiled, "Yes, Jade. I'm sure of that. I'll be there for you, for anything. I'll protect you, I wouldn't forgive myself if anything bad ever happened to you again. Because honestly, I need you. I need you more than anything and I can't explain why but I just do. I can feel it so clearly."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Jade bit her bottom lip, "'Cause, you know..."

"I know?"

"You know... I-I really like you too. I _like _like you a lot."

I laughed, the sound humming far back in my throat and chest and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so happy. Jade West likes me. Who would've ever thought that would happen. Truth be told, I didn't even think it would happen, but now that it has I could not be beaten down ever again, "I figured as much, yeah."

Silence dropped between us for a minute and you could practically hear the gears in Jade's and my head work, trying to process what happened and let it all sink in. My heart was constantly fluttering in my chest and when I looked at Jade my stomach did a somersault or two. Even now, after all this, she looked stunning, with her thick black curls framing her hopeful face like it was some delicate portrait they needed to protect.

"So, are we like, dating now?" Jade asked after a while.

I shrugged, my heart making a leap at the words. Jade and I. _Dating_. I smiled widely, "I don't know. What do you think?"

"I'd say we need to take it slow. I mean, this is all new for me and for you. I've never been with a girl. I'm still not perf- I mean, myself. I still need fixing. This is going to need time one way or another," Jade says, looking down as a blush crept on her cheeks. Her face was hard and careless, but I could see the smile she was hiding tugging on her lips.

"Yeah, you're right," I slumped back against the couch, allowing myself to relax finally, "It's gonna take time. But I'm willing to wait."

I looked over to Jade and she sat there like a little child, radiating a happiness that only she could feel. The smile on her face told me things she couldn't put into words. She knew things were not okay yet, but she was getting there. Slowly but surely, she would get there. All her worries would be long gone. I would make sure of that.

Together we would make sure that everything was going to be the way it used to be.  
>=====<p>

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>An: WOOOT! JORI! I hope you all liked that because I know you've been waiting for it.  
>Please leave me a review, I love all the support I'm getting! Thanks a bunch, you guys, you make it worth to write.<br>**=====

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>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<strong>_  
>=====<p> 


	12. Ch 12: Speeding Forward

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><strong>Speeding Forward<br>**=====

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>"Tori and Jade!" bellowed Sikowitz as I closed the classroom door behind us guiltily, "You have exactly thirty seconds to explain, creatively so, why you are late. Go!"<p>

Horrified and surprised, I threw a quick glance at Jade, who stood there just as caught as I was. I tried to think of something to come up with, but it was all tumbleweed and crickets chirping inside my mind. I stood there stuttering and the other students watched us with eager and I grew nervous. Luckily for me, Jade began to sing.

"I couldn't park my car 'cause something was in the way," she sang awkwardly, motioning for me to join in.

I coughed, "But... but then I came along and saw some kid running astray."

"His face was bloody and his shirt was muddy," Jade smirked as she was getting the hang of the rhythm, "Good old Jade hadn't seen this buddy."

A ripple of laughter rolled through the student body and I smiled too as I did a little dance. Somewhere deep down I enjoyed it and I was glad Sikowitz asked us to explain it in a nice and original way. I quickly made up some more lyrics to our song, "So I told Jade that was not a nice thing to do, while the poor boy's nose was turning bruised and blue."

"Tori made sure that he was unharmed, but I wasn't at all alarmed."

"'Cause this little guy was soon on his feet, running through the busy street," I sang, laughing along as our classmates started to clap to the rhythm, giving the simple song another dimension, giving it more power, "Screaming something I couldn't hear, but the lesson is that Jade needs to learn how to steer."

Our classmates bursted out in applause, Sikowitz smiling contently as he lifted his eyebrows at Jade and I, "Well, I sure hope that didn't really happen, _but_, nice song."

I shot Jade a look, and her face was relieved, a sweet and heart-felt grin on her lips and I felt my stomach drop. Hands connected and we bowed down quickly, feeling immensely pleased with something as silly as this. Sikowitz went on with whatever he was teaching and Jade and I sat down on our respective seats. The funny part was that our excuse was not entirely made up. I mean, it _did _involve a car.

I tried to hide my blush as my fingers strayed to touch my lips, where Jade's had been minutes ago. Jade's full, warm lips upon my own in a passionate kiss with nails dragging over bare skin and hands tangling in bushes of hair. It was fire. I still heard her heaving breaths being pumped into my ear, tickling my earlobe before she bit down on it hard. We both knew we needed to take it slow; but we just couldn't help ourselves. It just happened. What had been held behind wanted to get out and get revenge.

I mean, it was hard enough trying to stop myself from kissing Jade before all this had happened, let alone now, when she's mine and willing. Ever since yesterday, since we both confessed, the tension had been high - almost palpable - between us.

Zoning in on what Sikowitz was saying again, I caught the last of his sentence. Something about the play, reminding us that it was just a month away now, and that surely a month would seem like much but that it really wasn't. But I wasn't worried. Jade and I knew our parts perfectly.

Yet he wanted us to act out the final scene, so Jade and Beck and I got up reluctantly.

I saw the flicker of hurt and anger in Jade's eyes as she took place opposite of me and next to Beck. The latter seemed to feel fine, yet his eyes gleamed mysteriously. Both of them shrugged it off professionally. Like they should, yet the air between them vibrated dangerously.

"Alright, go on," Sikowitz took place in his chair.

Jade began, clutching her arm to Beck's, "Captain Fenris! Why are you calling me a _traitor_? I never betrayed you! On what grounds do you accuse me of this?"

"Oh, please! Don't play dumb with me, girl," the brown-haired boy said gruffly, shrugging off Jade's hand, walking away from her, "It's because of him! That pathetic excuse of a man right there. He's our enemy, Gale! Why are you in love with the enemy, why do you choose his side instead of mine? Like you're supposed to?"

I swallowed hard as Jade got up to stand beside me, "I did not choose his side, nor yours. I choose no-one's. The feelings I have for Marshall have _nothing _do to with the war."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you here, staying right next to him, defending him? You tell me, Gale."

"Enough!" I yelled, actually feeling my blood boil. It had nothing to do with how much I was in character, no, I could feel that both Beck and Jade were throwing words at each other like razorblades, hoping to injure one another. Their words were sharp and drenched in foreign, alien emotions and feelings they really didn't want to feel and that they were supposed to hide. They weren't in character either, they were just Beck and Jade and they were hurt.

I took a shaky breath and I used my hand to shield Jade, _Evelyn_, and spoke, "Enough with this already. Fenris, you don't have to right to interfere with us. You don't own the privilege to rip apart our love just because you feel two different people shouldn't love each other."

"Oh yeah? I am Captain! What are you, Marshall Lee? You're nothing to me and I will not let you take Gale."

Shooting a look at Jade, I flung my script off to somewhere and unsheathed the fake laser saber that was given to me. Beck did the same and then we engaged into a space-fight, dancing all over the classroom stage, wood crunching underneath my weight as I moved across it. Plastic clattered together. I ducked, swung, pivoted and shoved.

I let the plastic saber come down on Beck's shoulder and he groaned, clutching his hand at it. He sunk to his knees, muttering out a last breath before he landed face-first onto the floor. Behind me I could hear Jade's sharp exhale filled with malice. The laser saber was returned again and I walked towards Jade, who looked fragile and small yet euphoric.

"Marshall!" she squeaked, very unlike Jade - it made my nose scrunch up, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, swiveling my arms around her, "Yeah. He's not dead, but, he will be out for a while. We can take the ship in the meanwhile and blow off this whole plan of him, cancel the whole war! We'll send this armada of him back to his home. There will be no more fights."

"Yes. It's time to end this."

Jade's arms enveloped around my neck. I looked at her and her green eyes suctioned me into some sort of void, my thoughts becoming unclear as I got lost. Pulling my focus back with enormous strength, I squeezed Jade closer, "Together, Evelyn. We did it together. I love you."

"I love you too, Marshall."

I pulled her in for a hug - really, it was hard not to kiss her right then and there - and the classroom applauded lazily. I let go of Jade and turned to them, tentatively waiting for Sikowitz judgment because knowing him, he'd have something to say about it. However, his face seemed calm as he sipped his coconut, as if he was mulling everything over.

The silence stretched into a somewhat uncomfortable stillness. Andre coughed in the back of the classroom and Beck shoved his hand through his hair.

Sikowitz opened his mouth, the straw that was resting in his coconut drink still between his lips. He then closed it again with his brushy eyebrows diving deep over his eyes before finally talking, "I don't know how you kids did this all of a sudden, but... this is good. It's good."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day had gone by pretty smoothly. I could leave for home early because my final class had dropped because the teacher was sick.<p>

I closed my locker with a clunk as Beck and Andre stood beside it, talking animatedly about food. The hallway was almost empty, a few awesome kids doing their choreography in the corner and some teachers walking about with steaming coffee mugs in their hands. I was about to respond to Andre when a voice slithered into the conversation.

"Hey, Vega!"

"W-What?" I nearly sprained my neck as I turned around, a shudder raking my form as I catch on to the tone of Jade's voice: harsh and cold. Even though Jade used to talk to me in this way, I'm way beyond used to it now since we're on such... _friendly _terms, so upon hearing this I dreaded nothing but bad things to come.

Burning emerald eyes landed on mine as soon as I caught Jade's gaze. She was walking towards me like a speeding train and I don't think she was about to stop.

"Jade?"

Without further ado, Jade took my hand and promptly dragged me away from Beck and Andre. Their confused faces grew smaller as I was pulled backwards, stumbling and falling over my legs which were not cooperating. I tried to see where Jade was taking me and why. I was baffled and I didn't know what to expect but then Jade's eyes twinkled seductively and it sent a chill down my spine.

She opened the door to the janitors closet - I could only see it was _that _particular closet and nothing something else because the usual chemicals and brooms were all in place - and stomped her way in and I was surprised she didn't leave dents in the floor judging from the force she used to bring her feet down.

"Jade! What are you-" I protested, but then Jade slammed me back-first into the wall, knocking the air out of my lungs. It didn't feel good, yet a mischievous smile played on my face because I'd seen that look in Jade's eyes before and I knew what the message meant. She closed the door and made her way toward me with long, strong strides with hips swaying and an emerald gaze scorching my body as she hungrily inspected me from my toes to the top of my head. I bit my bottom lip in anticipation.

The room seemed to heat up a few degrees as Jade swiftly grabbed my hands, weaved her fingers through mine and pinned them above my head. I straightened my back against the wall and Jade pressed her body up against mine, my insides beginning to twist and turn at the contact. I couldn't keep my eyes off Jade.

As soon as her lips collided with mine my eyes fell shut and it was like somebody had switched off all my bodily functions. Fingers clenched together around Jade's hands as she ran her tongue over the length of my lips and I granted her eager access to my mouth. I cursed Jade for disabling my hands - they itched to touch her and pull her impossibly closer.

It was as if Jade had read my thoughts because she let go of me, one hand curling around my neck, the other resting on the wall next to me. My own hands found their way to Jade's hips, coming to a rest at those beautiful curves and I pressed her lower body against my own, earning a low moan from Jade. A flame started to burn in the pit of my stomach, tingling and warm and slowly spreading out through my body, making my head devoid of any rational thoughts. Jade was like the distortion in my life, the only thing that could make me forget everything, the only person that could make body and mind go haywire like some old, forgotten radio station that only broadcasts noises.

But then somewhere far back in my mind a voice squeaked. I tried to ignore it as Jade bit my lower lip, her erratic breathing and the tiniest of moves she made enough to make my knees go weak, but the voice grew stronger to the point where I could not ignore it anymore.

"Jade," I murmured against her wet lips, trying not to become intoxicated by the taste, "J-Jade, stop."

The pale-skinned girl didn't hear me at first, attempting to douse my rebellious words with more of her kisses but I managed to curl my hands around her shoulders and gently peel her off me. Confused yet worried eyes met mine, dark eyebrows hunching deeply over green irises and she asked, "What's wrong?"

I chuckled, biting my lower lip as I squeezed Jade's shoulders, taking a deep breath before I said what I needed to say, "As much as I like it, I think we should maybe... step it down a notch. I want to do this, I really do, but should we really get ahead of ourselves? We did say we needed to take it slow."

"Yeah, but... it feels good. Why stop something that feels right?"

I shrugged, fingertips getting lost in the expanse of her hair, "You never know if what's right is actually wrong."

Jade pouted, her red lips begging me to taste them again and I leaned down to give her a quick kiss that also needed to make clear that my actions weren't of bad intentions. I really did want to just continue with what we were doing, but deep down I felt like that wasn't the right thing to do.

Her soft touch distanced itself from my body and I felt a pang of rejection hit me in the stomach, "Jade, I really do want to but I just-"

"I know, Tori. It's okay, I understand," Jade said, smiling sweetly as she briefly touched my face. Then, her lips curled into a devious smirk, "I can't promise anything though."  
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><strong>An: really guys? 80+ reviews? I can't even grasp that fact - thank you so, so, so much!**

**Now, to come to the reason why I didn't update this waaaaaaay earlier: Jori Week and personal stuff. I have wrote my ass off for Jori Week (which I hope some of you have read and enjoyed) and when it was done I kinda felt useless because I had done so much and my inspiration-supply was kinda drained. As for the personal stuff, I have been working two jobs, I need to get things done for college next month and I met this **_**amazing**_** girl who I spend a lot of time on too (she's so worth it). All in all, I hope you guys can forgive me and I hope to be back on track from now! (:  
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><em><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious<br>**_=====


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